I hate being a mother
I absolutely despise it. It isn't anything like i thought it would be, it isn't anything that I wanted for my first child and I. The man I was with fur almost ten years ditched me for his ex the moment I got pregnant. I went through my entire pregnancy without any support from him, in fact, he and his ex made it a point to harass me throughout my pregnancy. But I was determined, I loved the little life growing inside me, cried and felt overwhelmed with love when I first laid eyes on him in all his eleven pound glory. That first week in the hospital I had nurses and family there to help, but then I had to go home. Every single day, from morning to night, 24 never ending recycling hours, I'm slaving to care for a fussy, wet, poopy, screaming ( he doesn't cry, he screams) infant. No one helps wash bottles, do his laundry, change him, rock him, serenade him, bathe him, dress him, carry him (he was eleven pounds so this got old fast), or hold him for hours since a lot of the time he won't sleep while he isn't laying on someone. And to top it off everything else in the house still needs to be done.
I can't eat, shower, brush my teeth, s*** or p***. I get no sleep, sometimes I yell at the baby when he won't be quiet.
I do love him and he did not ask to be here and I know he can't help crying because that is how he talks right now but I feel completely
hopeless. I cry myself to sleep when I can sleep, sometimes I just cry. I feel resentment towards his gather for abandoning me with this burden and at times I wish I could take it back it consider giving him up for adoption. But then I feel sad at the thought of him not being with me because again, I do love him. I just long for the days where if I Had nothing to do I could sleep in all day, where I could eat or go out with friendsv without having to worry about finding a sitter.
Besides those fun,"aww moments" and my son himself, I cannot find a single thing that is enjoyable about being a parent