This is the first time I'm confessing. I feel like I'm about to get crushed, I just can't take it anymore it hurts so much. This heavy feeling it slowly kills me. I feel like I'm being watched and it hurts. It hurts so much. I try to sleep it off but I am welcomed with nightmares and restless sleep. When awake my whole body is constantly tense and randomly hurts. Constant headaches. I feel this impulse to try and be myself and then I notice that I'm just being sadistic and harsh and mean but I can't help it as I only notice it too late. I feel like there's something crushing me and nothing can help. I feel so hopeless and numb.