Caught My Wife Cheating, But I Cannot Get Angry, On The Contrary
I've been married for over 20 years. we have 3 kids and obviously over time and some things that happened because of stress related to work, our s** drive has gone pretty low. in the last 3 years we have virtually had no s**. I always thought this was because she never once ever showed she cared about s** anymore (after the 3 kids) and I did try, many times to get close, but was always rejected with many excuses. During our relationship, she has never been that sexual either (one b****** a year, maybe). Never interested in anything "different", always very normal s**, never shown interest in anything sexual and very very prude. so in the last 3 years it's been a lot of "nothing", so to say. I have never cheated, by the way, and I have chances, but it's not what I want. Being technologically inept, she does not know I can read all her phone messages and also see her photos on ICloud. so my kids go to Capoeira,Brazilian Martial Arts and the teacher is this black brazilian guy who has many kids from different women, who proudly discusses the size of his d**k! so I first found a strange message one day. my wife regularly goes to have a massage down the road on saturday and sunday evening/night and then many times she goes out with some work colleagues. anyway, I found a message that actually said he was waiting for her! and after that a few descriptive messages with what happened! and for the last few months, that's become a regular situation. I decided to confront her, but then did not. we have 3 kids and we are trying to raise them up and give them a "good" life and I don't want to change that for them and at the same time, I don't want to lose her. So my shock and reasonable anger has changed into a curiosity. I have subsequently found pics and even videos. Her comments are what shocks me the most and they are also what gets me very excited too. She always comments on his large d**k and how she loves it and she has (last week) suggested that she would like to try some of his friends too and he said that he will ask around! This got me very excited and I am not very sure I know how to handle the situation. I don't want to lose her as a mother of my kids and a friend and I can see she is someone I have never known. Her sexuality has completely surprised me and she acts like nothing ever happened. I have tried to get close to her more than once but she has totally given me excuses. and at the same time, to imagine what goes on when she sees him and to find the descriptive messages drives me crazy with excitement. it's crazy.