I wish my mother loved me truly, deeply and unconditionally.
I wish my mother had been as cold and unpredictable as my father had been! Her sick combination of "unconditional" love and pretending to go deaf when I needed an actual adult in my corner messed me up a lot more than my father's fists ever did.
This is a pain there is no cure for. You have to tell yourself you did nothing to deserve this. It's not your fault and MEAN it. Anytime you get down tell yourself that and give reasons why. Write them down is better your remember better when you write it. Hope the best for you.
Sorry, sadly there are some mothers who should have Never procreated. Mine was one of them. Someday you'll find someone to love you when your older - it's not your fault / she's broken . Peace & Love to you!
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