Life is hard when you're a teen

To start off, I am bisexual which for those of you who don't know that means I like my own gender plus one other ( in my case it's girls and boys.) I am also identify as a demigirl which is I associate myself mostly with my female body but I also identify as something else. I am very masculine for a girl and I use my masculinity because that's the way I see myself. Currently I am dating a girl for 9 months now. I love her so much but she can have a bit of a bipolar attitude. there are times when she is verbally agressive. I don't want to say abusive because I don't believe it's that. We just have our average fights that end in her practically hating me and then two minutes later she's in love with me again. She has also come to me saying she is once again depressed and she thinks she needs help. So I have to bottle up all of my feelings just to not make it seem like we are both sad and dysfunctional. So all the sadness and hate I have for myself gets bottled up and stays there until the glass breaks every few months or so. Now we have such big plans for our future together, and I can't imagine a life without her. However, on top of all this drama, I have a crush, on a boy who is one of my closest friends, and who happens to be my girlfriends ex boyfriend. I am so confused and sad and I just needed to write this all down and get it off my chest. Thank you to those who take the time to read this.

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