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I wana die
I'm 37 have had soooo much from ** twice, losing my only sibling, being beat for 5 yrs in a bad relationship, hating myself, going into hiding, addiction...... I JUST CAN'T!!!!! But I have the most precious AMAZING gift, a 12 yr old son that worships the air I breathe! How can I leave him? I love him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much but hate to live. I'm 1 yr cancer free, no friends, no job.... WTF!
Please don't do anything rash or crazy! Remember u have a huge reason to live: your son! He needs u! Remember, even tho life gets rough and worse- horrible and unbearable, things do change around- that's the only constant in life and in the world- change, so hang in there for dear life and stay alive and things'll change. Being cancer free after having it is a huge victory in itself and you're forgetting that! What if it was back- then imagine the suffering- slow decline with your son having to watch and the sadness with it...so be thankful for that- only of you're alive will u have the opportunity to repair your life- addictions can be worked upon and fixed with time- u can enter new relationships with newer healthier ppl- ** is terrible I'm not gonna lie and can't imagine the atrocity of it BUT think of it this way- r u gonna let the roaches who did this to u to control your entire life now- and bc of them you're gonna destroy your life and that of your precious child's????? Then that evil bstrd will have succeeded I totally destroying u- show that mfer that u can still survive and not just survive but thrive- the same will happen to them too just a question of when- they will go to prison for sinlmilar crimes in the future and be sodomized there, or they may be castrated by a future victim, or they may get into an accident that cuts off that area etc.
And part 2 of the same reply (bc it's so long):
Remember if u keep repeating the thought "I don't want to live" your body's cells are connected to you and you're thoughts and will listen to this as a command and start to go haywire and create cancer/unregulated "unlimited" cell division until cancer develops bc they are fulfilling your wish/command that "she doesn't want to live, so body: let's initiate the self destruct sequence"- dont do that! I know easier said than done- my own life is no horse race right now- have had terrible "welcome to the shitshow" crises happen in my own life- but anyways pls stop at least for the sake of your son if nothing else! You are a valuable human being and u always have a reason to live, even just for yourself in addition to your son- having these things happen to undoeant mean it was your fault or that you're less of a person, and I know it's bad it will change around it HAS to as again- nothing in this world remains the same...pls call a suicide hotline if u feel like u can't take it anymore, and we're all here also for you!
Day by day - don't leave your son! Everyday pray for god to take your burden and heal your mind.