What has happen to me

So I have fled overseas for a year because of personal problems and have come back. I have distanced my self from my friends because they are deep in the criminal underworld and I want to do something with my life I am at college now but I have no real friends now because I disconnected with them from my past life I've just turned 19 and I fear that as If i am wasting my youth I wish I had a group of friends that I am close to you know just hang out have a joint.or make memories together people who I can call best fiends I have friends but I'm not close to them I swear it's hard to find people I can trust I just want real friends not friends who will stab me in the back I want just want a friend who's got my back who I can be close to you I know that I'm being werid or there's no incest confession or whatever you guys are here looking for I'm just here to vent how I feel about friends just a warning to u guys hold your best friends tight or you lose them like i did and end up like this

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