Letting my thoughts flow freely...

Is life really worth living if all you do is go through the motions, without any emotions. What can you do when a friend is only a friend and nothing more, but they have already stolen your heart without even knowing it. When you are okay with being just friends, or so you thought. Then they are constantly on your mind. Why do bad things happen to good people? Everything that my grandfather has done for other people. On top of surviving cancer once. Why would he have to suffer through it again? When you love someone who doesn’t love you back, how do you hide those feelings? Is it worth ruining a friendship though?

I can’t get her out of my mind. While we were doing partner yoga, it felt amazing to be able to hold her up and watch her move. It was so beautiful and powerful, she became the artwork, a masterpiece. Something that anybody would be lucky to admire and behold. She was like a cherished painting. The way she moved her body like a paintbrush across a blank canvas caressed my soul. Every move that she made mesmerized me more and more. It’s a truly amazing and breathtaking moment, when you can’t decide if her eyes, the most beautiful windows to the soul you have ever seen, are more beautiful than the way she moves. When someone is truly as beautiful inside as they are outside, that’s a rare quality. That should be honored and cared for more than the finest jewels.

I don’t wonder what it would be like to have a sexual connection with them. They are too pure and inspiring to be thought of in such a lowly manner. However, I wonder what it would be like to just be in their presence and get lost in their eyes. Knowing that they feel the same way as you, if only that were true. I can’t imagine how life changing it would be to just hold them in my arms and feel their body breathe against mine, to feel her lips embrace mine. I’m not usually a hopeless romantic, but even I wonder at times why can’t the love we see in movies. The blind and deep love, that supersedes any boundaries or hesitations, happen in every day life. Is not love the most powerful emotion? Why not take a leap of faith and trust love to catch you? Even though I was hurt so badly by past relationships. There is nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice or set aside in order to have the opportunity to truly know her. Not just her likes and dislikes, but everything that makes her so incredible and unique. Like a goddess she intimidates and inspires, all at the same time. Nothing compares to her beauty, not beauty as we know it, but the purest form of beauty, that can’t be described by any man.

Dec 11, 2015

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