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Is this normal?
I've done some stuff that I think I should feel bad about, but have no intention of admitting. For example, there was a guy I liked and I emailed him, pretending to be someone else, for the longest time and never admitted to it. I also feel like a fake. People think I'm so sweet and innocent, but it's gotten to the point where I just show my friends that side of me because that's what they expect. One time I even asked a friend to ask someone to lie for me and when she said no, I got my friend to keep bugging her about it until she got super stressed out and hurt. I didn't intend for it to put so much stress on her, but I still feel bad and I've created a giant story to make everyone think I was only joking. And I've been lying about it ever since. I like to think of myself as a good person because I do genuinely like making people happy and I do lots of things that good people do, but those lies still nag at me every now and then. And I find myseld wondering, is it normal for people to hide such big things forever and still be good people if they don't intend to make those mistakes? Am I alone in keeping such big secrets? Do my friends have big secrets too, or do I not deserve them since they believe the lies I told.. I can't risk losing friends by admitting to what I've done. I just wonder if I'm alone in this or if it's normal for people to keep big secrets.
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