Is this normal?

I've done some stuff that I think I should feel bad about, but have no intention of admitting. For example, there was a guy I liked and I emailed him, pretending to be someone else, for the longest time and never admitted to it. I also feel like a fake. People think I'm so sweet and innocent, but it's gotten to the point where I just show my friends that side of me because that's what they expect. One time I even asked a friend to ask someone to lie for me and when she said no, I got my friend to keep bugging her about it until she got super stressed out and hurt. I didn't intend for it to put so much stress on her, but I still feel bad and I've created a giant story to make everyone think I was only joking. And I've been lying about it ever since. I like to think of myself as a good person because I do genuinely like making people happy and I do lots of things that good people do, but those lies still nag at me every now and then. And I find myseld wondering, is it normal for people to hide such big things forever and still be good people if they don't intend to make those mistakes? Am I alone in keeping such big secrets? Do my friends have big secrets too, or do I not deserve them since they believe the lies I told.. I can't risk losing friends by admitting to what I've done. I just wonder if I'm alone in this or if it's normal for people to keep big secrets.

No Comments Yet

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?