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Emotinal
I feel stupid. You have physically, verbally and mentally abused me. Now, I have all this anger and resentment build up towards you and its spilling over into my life. You still want me back. I keep going back and forth with you hoping things will change and it never does. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know how to be calm around you. Now, since you don't like what I do, you tell me that you are going to work things out with your children's mother. I don't know why I feel Jealous. I hate this.
Well, look on the bright side.
He's physically, mentally, and emotionally abused you and you still want him? WHY?
I feel for you, and I have been (sort of) where you are, deeply in love with a man committed to someone else, but not in love with her -- he says -- but he also doesn't say that he "loves" me. I can't stop seeing him because my heart and my body won't allow that, although my mind tells me to find someone else, someone who's unattached and available, as opposed to what I have, which is attached and unavailable. I hate myself for loving this man, but I can't seem to end it. I guess the only positive thing I can say is that I haven't had any of his children . . . yet. I wish you only the best.