Voices in my head
I know everyone has voices in their heads, your conscience, some people have conversations with themselves and I understand that. When its your conscience you are kind of aware of both sides of the conversation even though you talk it through in your head.
I have voices that argue. I say voices, they sound more like rushed whispers. I hear them mostly in the evenings or whenever I'm alone. They've always been there for as long as I can remember. I don't wanna sound crazy but they always start by calling my name then they say derogatory things, feeding my paranoia, feeding my anxiety, keeping me awake at night. Just lately they've been getting worse. Telling me to cut myself, end it all, that sort of thing. The only good thing is they never tell me to harm anyone else just myself.
I'm not teenager. I'm not a self harmer. I'm a 40 year old man. I'm already on medication for depression.
For the first time since I can remember I'm actually getting scared by them. I figure if I tell anyone I'll be either be laughed at or told I'm crazy and end up in an institution. If I'm laughed at I'm certain that'll just feed the voices and they'll get worse. If I end up in an institution I'd say that's pretty much game over for me. I'm beginning to think maybe it's the end of the line for me. Maybe I am crazy, maybe I've always been crazy I just never realised. I don't know what to do.