Hate myself a lot

I'm a girl, 17, 5'3", 117 lbs and considered "attractive." Yet I hate my body so much it's ridiculous. I know that's vain and obnoxious, and I really wish it didn't sound that way, but it drives me insane. Everyone believes that I am confident but I'm not. I feel ugly on the outside and the inside and I don't understand why people like me. I want to be perfect inside and out, which obviously I can never be, but it is still the only thing that drives me. Because of this I have a problem with food. I don't eat when I'm alone or at school, but then when I'm around my family I binge. I make up weird rules for myself with food (ex: only drink fruit juice today, only eat lettuce today, etc.) and try to find excuses not to eat. I just feel so fat and gross all of the time, except when I'm losing weight... at least until I gain it back (which I have recently. I am now back at my normal weight, which sucks.) I know that I sound like a pathetic, self-absorbed girl but I'm really not and I don't tell anyone about this or do it for attention... I'm not even anorexic or bulimic. I feel bad worrying about this when people in the world have serious issues and I'm well to do and worry about my appearance far too much. It's sick. I don't know why I'm like this but I wish I could be normal. I'm too embarrassed to ask for help...

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  • hey dont worry. im in the same position as you are. im 165cm and 60kg but have bingeing probs too. im not fat by 'normal' standards but hate the feeling of spiralling out of control, feeling bloated and trying to fart/burp alot...gross as it sounds but, what the h***.
    i realise that i can control these binges when i want to, the problem is relapse.
    must find another outlet for addiction apart from food and drugs.

  • You can give me a BJ and drink my c**. aLow calories and the work will use more that you swallow. Or I can f*** you in your ass and it allready most of the way out.

  • the most attractive woemn I have ever met were those who accept what they are while always trying to be what they want with a smile and determination. relax

  • Until your happy with yourself, you'll see what others see.
    I feel the same about myself, therefore I'm learning that too.

  • Shallow, vain, and with the depth of a saucer of water. This is what I think of you.

  • You will come to realize, hopefully sooner than later, that you are beautiful.......and that you need to enjoy that fact while ur young, because, as you get older, you will lose some of that, as we all do... Don't hate your body, I am sure you KNOW youre attractive, who cares what anyone else thinks, because no matter how you look, there will always be someone else more attractive, or something else that somebody has that you don't.. Being "perfect" is an unattainable goal, except of course in the movies.....

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