Since i cant tell a guy how much I like him. This is a confession he will never know.
At first I am still confused about my feelings for him but the more I spend time with him and the more I get to know him, I started to fall without knowing it. My day will never complete withouth spending and talking with you.
We are like buddies. Even though we have 3 years age gap ( I am older than him). We shared funny moments and joke. We eat and go out always. If someone invited us over we are both there. Even though we have opposites personality we still clicked together. We always talked about random thoughts and stories until in the morning. If something happened to you either it is good or bad, funny or not, I am the one you've always message to let me know about it. I know you didnt know but I appreciate all the things that you have done to me even the small ones. I am happy when you remembered all the small things that I said to you out of the blue. I like it when you wait for me so that we can go home or eat together. Sometimes just one text or message to you, You will immediately replied back to me. Most of our friends always asking if we are together or not. Everytime they asked that we just smiled to them not giving a definite answer. I enjoy spending time with you.
Yeah, I am coward. But cant you blame me? I am afraid of rejections. I've been rejected my whole life. Everytime I like a guy, they like someone else. I also have this insecurity on myself that I am much older than you. I always think that what if you will find someone around your age, I'm also not attractive person and you are. I also thought that you just see me only as a friend and you just go with the flow everytime they teases us together.
At first I thought we have something. We have like this unacknowledged feelings for each other. Like both of us are afraid to take the risk of our friendship. Did I misread the sign? Or I just assume. I am confused. Everytime I try to walk away and forget this feelings for you, You will do something for me so that I can stay at your side. Then suddenly you changed. You dont ask me to go out anymore. Any single message from you about my day, NONE!Then, I just saw that you already have a girlfriend and that's the reason why you forgot me suddenly. I know I dont have the right to get jelous and angry because obviously I am not your girlfriend. I can also settle just being your friend so that I can still spend time with you but you just cut me off out of your life instantly like I am nothing to you. I am that easily to forget? I am not that important to you even I am just your friend? I guess not.
I like you A LOT. I appreciate everything that you do for me. Thank you for all the friendship and memories we shared. I'll gonna miss you but I need to move on for myself. I know it will hurt for a while, but I will find someone else. I wish you best and happiness in your life. Thank you again and goodbye!