Girlfriends weird friend

I'd like just a little advice.

My gf has this friend, who she met after we started dating. He's a nice enough guy but he spends half his time trying to nail her. I genuinely do trust that nothing has or will happen but I have asked her to be a bit more forceful with him as she's ridiculously polite. She just says no, I've got a boyfriend, over and over, yet they're still friends. Though she makes an effort not to meet him and only talks with him by text now.

I got a bit annoyed and asked how long does he have to be disrespectful to our relationship, to me and to her before she'll tell him where to go and she thinks I'm over reacting.

I'm not concerned about her cheating but I'm sorry if a girl was doing the same to me I'd have dropped her within a day or 2 of it starting and my gf would've got very jealous. It feels like she's more concerned with being nice to him than the fact that he's being a complete d*** to me.

So, what does the internet think?

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  • Have a little private "guy talk" with him and make it clear..One finger on her, and you'll wind up bleeding in an alley behind the mini-mart. She may not cheat on you, but...She does like the attention, and may have him, in the back of her mind, as next-up. Don't let it get that far.

    I was dating a woman who never left the area we live in (I've lived in different places), so, kept many of her old high school friends, most of whom were men. Most were ok, but one in particular..Odd, since I knew him from the sports bar I go to and was no fan of his before I started dating her, was one such guy. Grew up with her, played the "old friend defender" thing, and, started contacting her. Really p***** me off, and he knew it. I offered to talk once, and he declined.

    Then, one night, I was chatting with my friend Denise, whom I also knew this guy was after. Stole her attention right from him, sending him the message..Dude, you stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours. I already had Denise's phone number, so, could have taken it further had I not been with woman I was dating. After that, he cooled off, and pretty much left my then-gf alone. I still can't stand the guy.

  • You need to knock him down a couple pegs and if she gets mad, oh well. Ur her man, if hes just a friend it shouldnt be a big deal. He sounds far too annoying for u to be dealing with in a civil manner.

  • Yes, I see your concern. You're a guy. You know what's running through this guy's mind. It's not surprising what he wants. Doesn't mean he's going to get it. And maybe she keeps him around because she likes the attention. Or maybe he does it because he knows it bugs you. So stop letting it get to you. You need to keep your insecurities in check before it destroys your relationship. Have confidence in your relationship and trust your girlfriend. You can't control (and that would be a very bad idea) who she is friends with or works with or talks to. Because if you do, you may find yourself single and the other guy will have won. Have you presented the scenario of a girl contacting you to your gf or you are just assuming? How would she feel if you carried on the same way she has been? Because if you stay together, there will situation where you do become friends with the opposite s**. Can you both handle this?

  • Again..... Not concerned by her cheating. Concerned by her lack of giving a s*** that this guy is only interested in getting laid or annoying me, I don't get how that is a friend. I've presented the same scenario to her, she knows perfectly well that I'd have put a stop to it on the first day. Once again, I'm not concerned or worried she'll cheat. I'm bothered that a guy being such an ass to both of us is acceptable behavior to her, her being ok with it is the same as her encouraging it because she isn't stopping it

  • Again.. maybe she likes the attention. She doesn't see his behavior the same way you are. He's flirting with her. Right or wrong. Some guys look at it as a challenge. And apparently you have stopped nothing, because she continues to talk with him and she doesn't care that it bothers you. Or maybe she actually likes that you are bothered by it/him. Look, you can't control this. If you think you can, then you have turned the relationship into an abusive one. Yes, in a perfect world people who are outside of your relationship would/should respect that you two are together. But some people don't give a s***. And maybe you are making this a bigger deal than it has to be. The issue is your girlfriend. And you say you're not concerned or worried that she'll cheat, than there should not be a problem. Or maybe you need to break up with her if her behavior is unacceptable to you. Because maybe she's not who you think she is. Your asking people to come up with some ideas.. You want actual answers. Talk to your girlfriend. And if you don't like the outcome and are not willing to compromise, then maybe you need to find a new girlfriend. She is not a child. You are not her father. You can not control this. And not everyone is going to play by your rules. You would think it would be a simple situation, but apparently the main players don't really care what you think. So maybe that's the real issue.

  • Some platonic relationship are real and maybe your girlfriend has one. All the same, she should not spend an unusual amount of time with him or maintaining their friendship if there's not enough time allotted for your. Try to get to meet him and see how you size the situation up. It's likely that they're just friends but she may need to spend less time with him. Good luck.

  • Yeah that didn't answer my question at all. I already know my gf thinks of him as just a friend and cheating is not something I'm concerned about. The guy is constantly trying to f*** her, I just want her to tell him to leave her alone, it's been long enough now

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