I hate being a parent

I never thought I would feel this way, I love my two kids with everything. But I absolutely hate parenting. I had my first child at 21(I'm 25 now)and I didn't know how much stress it would bring. My boyfriend and I we're excited but after a while I lost my identity. After we had our son this feeling had gotten worse. I wake up most days dreading doing things for them and not being able to have "me time" I barley eat or get sleep. Consent yelling and screaming. They always fight. I have no life this is a repetition and I'm losing my mind. I often snap at them, after I feel bad. But , I can't help it. I'm watching my life pass me by. It's so much I want to accomplish but I can't. They are sometimes in the way of a lot of things. Idk if this is normal or depression I need some advice. I do not want to resent my kids.

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  • Being a parent is a waste of time worlds already way way way too populated

  • Totally natural and you're right. Let's be frank here. Kids are a gigantic pain in the ass. They take over your life, cost you a fortune, emotional pain, relationship difficulties. You become a slave to their needs. It's not brought up much in polite discussion though. The correct thing to say is, children are amazing and we are all blessed. Yeah. Not really. Your biology will do it's best to ensure you are filled with a warm haze of natural drugs to make you enjoy the s***** task, but, if it's not that strong in you, or your kids are a serious pain in the ass, difficult. Don't take me the wrong way, kids as people say can be amazing and wonderful and it can fulfill you - evolution has ensured you'll get your portion of feel good for carrying on your genes. But don't let anyone bs you, it's a tough s***** job.
    How to cope ? Set boundaries. Make time for yourself. Time for your kids. Don't let your kids dictate your life to you. You dictate to your kids how life should be. Structure is everything. Taking time to unwind is incredibly important. And, seek help where you can. Taking a night off can do wonders too - if you can get someone to babysit.

  • ..... I use to have music/playtime; which involved dodgeball, dancing, and running around the living room. My child loved it. I also lived at playgrounds in the nice weather /some rainy days too. I found this to be very helpful, and would help with bedtime. Then I'd quietly sneak into the living room to watch Will & Grace with some Ben & Jerrys all by myself at 11:30 just to zone out - it worked wonders! Make it fun and it won't be so hard. Playgrounds only cost gas to get there and lunches of course. Hang in there ! Hope you find a routine that works for you!

  • Parenting is probably one of the toughest and most rewarding jobs a person can ever have. It's 24/7. We have 3 kids under the age of 6 (I know, what were we thinking :) ) and we spend each day making sure they are kept alive, not always an easy feat. My 2 year old is an escape artist. That's a bunch of fun and he refuses to listen. I lose my mind a couple of times a day. Here are some things that may help. Make sure you and your boyfriend (and anyone else who watches them) keep your kids on a routine and stick to it. Naps, bedtime etc. Age appropriate chores also can be good. For instance, your four year old can help put away his toys, or learn to set the table, brush his teeth. The yelling and screaming creates chaos and in some ways it can change them. Have a time out chair. Be firm. Sometimes just looking online for a solution to what's happening is what I do. As for you and your time. If the 4 year old is enrolled in preschool , drop the younger one off in day care and go treat yourself. Or take a course online. You would be surprised at how much you can juggle when you set your mind to it. Set small goals for yourself and then go for it. Reach out to your family and friends and see if someone can watch a kid for a bit. They're only little for a short time. I know it's challenging. If you think you're dealing with some post partum issues, go see a doctor. At least create a plan for yourself and your bf. And see what works, what doesn't and tweak.

  • ^Please know.. I meant tweak the plan.. not tweak ..like use meth or anything :)..

  • I think this is a normal feeling and you are not wrong for feeling this way. I suggest some sort of counseling or therapy to help you cope and manage better.

  • Please don't take this the wrong way but: You need a serious change of attitude. Children are for life and not some project blocking you from your dreams. Obviously you need help with parenting correctly or it wouldn't be so hard. There are parenting classes available in your area and a wealth of information that you can read about parenting. And please go after your dreams - don't use the excuse of having children stand in your way of accomplishing what you want. Many others have done it and so can you! Also try to share raising your children more with your boyfriend and generational family. This should make things easier while you are working toward your dreams. Good luck.

  • I hope you have children because, people are different and situations are different for everyone. I raise my children well but , it is still hard parenting class won't change that. And yes certain situations can stop someone from
    Accomplishing things, I'm not everyone else. My attitude is a stressed out mommy who needs a break lol.

  • I see your point but I do believe that learning to better parent and the support of others would help you to feel less stressed. Undoubtedly you're stressed out but blaming your children for not being able to move forward in your life is what might make others question your attitude. I believe that a bad attitude makes everything worse. Hoping that you'll consider reasoning that could help to improve your life. Be well.

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