Like mother like daughter

My daughter is 17. Shes doing all the things I did at that age that lead me to have a difficult life. Drinking, drugs, dating the biggest losers I could find. She came home last night with bruises on her arm. She said she fell and then covered them up. I've had those bruises before from a guy grabbing my arm hard. She is the best thing in my life. I got pregnant during my wild times and it seriously altered what I was going to do with my life. I love her beyond words and I'm so grateful to have her. I would never change that. Having her was what lead me to get my life in order. I don't want her to go through what I did. I've talked to her about it but I just can't get through to her. She thinks she and her friends have it all figured out. I sure I thought the same thing back in my day. I know there is nothing I can do to force her to stop. It breaks my heart to see her make the same mistakes. I feel like its my fault. Like I past down some genetic destructive gene.


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  • Sounds like she needs to kick him in the nuts many times

  • Hugs lady! I know your pain. I pray a lot!

  • It's so hard to let them mess up when you know you want to step in and fix things. That's one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn with my boys. Sometimes you have to let them fall down and be there to help them get back up.

  • She's old enough that she will do what she wants regardless of your wishes. The more you try and stop her might make her act out more. It hard to let your kids make mistakes that you want to stop them from. It's part of growing up. It sounds like you are in a tough spot. My daughter's are 7 and 9. I can't imagine what I would do it it my girls were to do what yours is. My husband is dreading the teen years. I wish there was something a could say to help you. The only thing I can say is don't give up on her. If or when she hits bottom be there for her but don't judge her. Help her learn from her mistakes and move on. Good luck.

  • She has to learn on her own. Please don't enable her. If she isn't in school, she better be working. Get her on birth control. Be her mom, not her friend. Hopefully, she'll figure it out.

  • If OP had been an actual mother and not her daughter's friend, the cycle would not have been repeated. She would have learned from her own mistakes and guided her daughter away from even thinking about making the same ones. I have no sympathy.

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