How do you permanently get rid of a Stalker?

My Ex girlfriend from the 1990s has been calling my house and job periodically for the past 25 years. I am now married and she still won't stop. I've moved, changed jobs twice and had several telephone numbers. She always tracks me down, thanks to business like intellis, which sells people's private information for a fee. Has anyone had to deal with this kind of thing before? It is so annoying that I wish that she would die. God doesn't seem to answer my prayers concerning having her stop. How do I permanently get rid of her short of violence? Thanks for your help.

Apr 20, 2016

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  • All you can do is build detailed evidence...

  • Tell her the truth, that she's ruined your life and you hate her. That you secretly hope she dies sometimes. That it has been 25 years and you still don't want her and never will.

  • Thank you but the more you communicate with an ertomaniac, the more they're convinced that you love them, and they will then start stalking you even more.

  • Have you considered f****** her? H***, just have the g****** affair already! You know it's going to happen. And you know it SHOULD happen.

  • That's old news and that's precisely the reason that she keeps stalking me. Stalkers are under the delusion that you still love them and cannot do with them, so they continue to stalk you.

  • Think he already did that 25 years ago -- it's his ex. Did you not read the post? How would sleeping with a stalker make them stop stalking? It would escalate.

  • Thank you.

  • When a person begins to stalk, they can no longer differentiate between reality and obsession. Laws have changed a great deal since 1991. And stalking happens to more men, then men are willing to admit and to report. Here's a website regarding stalking.. Look up the laws in your state. You may want to set a recording device to record the number of calls she makes. The worse part about stalking, it can be difficult to get the police to do anything because calling someone isn't a crime. But it's frightening, becuase you just don't truly know the mental state of that individual. Best to stay safe.
    If anything, make sure that if you use any social media that you don't add people you don't know and it's set to privacy..even for your wife and children and family members. You may want to talk with someone about talking to your ex so directly. This may not warrant the results you want. If she's mentally unstable, no direct message is going to come off as you think or hope. It may escalate what she's feeling. You just don't know how she is processing things. She may also think you want her, simply because you are calling her. It may be best to have the authorities deal with it.

  • Thanks but the authorities here in my state don't seem to give a damn when a man is being stalked by an Ex girlfriend. I shall check the website you offered and maybe I can get some additional help there. By the way, I haven't spoken to her since the 90s and that was to tell her to get lost.

  • First, tell her sincerely and honestly that you never want her to contact you ever again. Make sure to word it simply so there is no loopholes.

    Secondly, if she keeps doing this, seek advise from the police. They are legally obligated to at least talk to you and it doesn't have to be this big thing. You can just say
    "Hello officer, I would like to talk about this person who has been stalking me for a long time and what I can do to make her stop" and discuss the matter.

    But a really REALLY important thing, is if you ever EVER feel threatened by this girl you need to go straight to the police and make sure your kids are alright. Anyone who stalks someone openly for that long is a bit unhinged and if they turn to threats or something similar, things can get dangerous.

    Don't try and sort it out yourself if she gets aggressive as you could also be charged with assault.

  • Thank you. Yours is good advice. I told her in 1991 to go on with her life. I also reported it to police and several laughed in my face and basically told me that they had more important things to deal with than domestic squabbles. While I don't feel threatened by her, I do feel extremely annoyed to the point of wishing that she would die. Her behavior is very annoying, disrespectful and unwelcome. I've known that she is psychiatrically ill for quite sometime - a sociopath to be exact but she has not been treated for it.

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