My secret

I never told anyone I was raped when I was 15. I felt like it was my fault for being somewhere I shouldnt have been. I started cutting afterwards. The pain was the only thing that made me feel anything. it was two years ago today. The inside of my thighs are scared from all the cutting. My mom is taking me to the gynecologist next week because she thinks I have an infection. I don't know what I'm going to tell them if they get on table and look at me.

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  • Rape is wrong, regardless of where it happened. You should talk to your family. Trust me, if they love you, they won't care about your whereabouts, when the tape transpired. They'll care about, the fact their child was raped. Do yourself justice and report it to the police. You owe it to yourself and the rapists victims and future victims.

  • Look girl, you don't know this however you were cutting yourself into a pine box.. Your femoral artery is in your thigh ; you get that leaking li'l girl & you're in a peck o' h*** i.e. they may not get thee to a hospital in time..

  • I don't know where you were that you shouldnt have been. I do absolutely know that what happened was not your fault. You did nothing to deserve being raped. Please find someone you can talt to about this. You have your whole life ahead of you. You don't need to carry this alone.

  • Tell the gynecologist what happened.

  • If I tell the doctor will they have to keep it between us? I'm not 18. Would they tell my parents?

  • There is patient doctor confidentiality. You can reiterate that to the doctor before the exam begins. They may recommend going to a therapist. Keep in mind, your mom loves you. Even if something seems really hard to tell someone, it's because they care. And sometimes when you open up it can be freeing to you.

  • How do I tell her I've been hiding something like this from her for so long. What if they don't believe me and think I'm just doing it for attention. My mind always god to the worst possible outcome. I wasn't always like this.

  • We all do things to cope and escape problems. Eating, smoking, drugs, alcohol, hair pulling etc..and cutting. Some leave minor scars and others are harder to cover up. And as a teen, it's not surprising that you do have secrets. I know you are scared, but I think you have to not worry about the worst possible outcome. I would hope that no one would ever think someone scars their body for attention. I think your mom will most likely be really worried. Look at this as an opportunity to start anew. Meaning, it has been a secret and maybe telling someone can give you the chance to deal with it in different way. Maybe start using vitamin e or mederema ..coconut oil and dr. Palmers cocoa butter may help to heal your scars. This takes time, it's not magical they won't disappear before your appointment. .sorry. but can help lessen in time. Take some deep breaths, you are going to be ok. It will turn out ok.

  • Quit hurting yourself. We all make mistakes and you didn't deserve to be raped no matter where you were.

  • Thank you. I'm trying to stop.

  • I'm so sorry. It wasn't your fault. Your mom doesn't have to be in the room. This can be between you and your doctor. And you're most likely not the first woman who has cut their thighs before. Contact rainn.org

  • I told my mom I didn't want her coming in with me. She wanted to be there to talk to the doctor. I told her it is going to be embarrassing enough with the doctor. I really would be uncomfortable with her there to. She agreed to not go in with me.

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