I love him

It's embarrassing that I love him but I do, I love him intensely but I don't love him in a common way. He can love as deeply as I can, he understands me, he is passionate. The ultimate truth is, I don't believe he deserves me because of the way he behaves and his cruelty. I could never be around someone like that, someone that displays cruelty every day. I have to let it go... I just have to.