I've always known I loved being on my own. I was the kid that would lock herself in her room (away from noisy siblings) to decompress from the day. To recharge after a family trip by going for walks alone, as a teen. The adult who would avoid huge gatherings like the plague. Who felt relationships were too burdensome. Who loved being single. Who loved to go on holidays by herself, attend concerts or movies by herself, because having another there would be draining. Who was happy to choose when she felt like being social. Who was so happy with it being just her and the dog. So why I decided to have a kid is so f****** beyond even my own understanding that I can't help but hate myself. Everyday.