I'm drunk rn

I confess that i am asexual, i dont like my gf. i feel so bad about this. She has mental illnesses. She had tried to kill herserlf many times and she saidd to me that if i broke up with her, she will kill herself. everyday i feel so bad because she thinks that i dont love her and she said to me that one day she will kill herself bcause she knows that i dont love her. idk what to do, im dunk right now bcause i feel so so bad i just want to be alone i have triedd to kill myself but never work. im not an expert, she is. she knows murders, mafia bosses, everything. i just want to be happy but im not, im just depressed everyay everytime idk what to do. please help.

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