Its not going to work is it

I'm 18 getting paid close to 2500 dollars a month in an area where my rent is 500. I've been working for 2 years and getting into a college for almost free with a car that's almost paid off with a savings that going up with plans for investment. I'm doing really good, I'm even a manager at my job now and stand to make 2 to 3 more dollar raise by the end of the year. I'm more successful that many adults in there 30s 40s or even 50s I know at 18. But I'm just not happy, and I feel like my life is crumbling because of doubts in my relationship. This girl is the first girl I ever truly loved. But she wants to hurt or kill herself everyday. And every time I ever try to even tell her a minor thing wrong in our relationship she tries to hurt herself. We can never have a serious conversation without me trying to hold her down and not kill herself right in front of me, which she has tried to do many times. I feel like I'm doing something wrong because when shes happy I feel so happy and loved but the second she wants to harm herself then everything falls apart. Now we're long distance and I don't even want to call her anymore since if she tells me once again how badly she wants to hurt herself it just gets draining. I keep doing it because I love her, but she'll tell me she wants to die and hang up and make me call her 30 times just for her to tell me her last goodbye. Then she'll ghost me and after calling her a dozen more times and texting her (which she sometimes responds to, its how she tells me her final goodbye) and half an hour of doing this or hour or sometimes even two hours then she'll call me back and act normal again. I can't keep doing this and holding everything in but if I ever stop she'll kill herself. I don't know what to do.

Jul 1

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  • When I was your age I had a girl just like that. The thing is, you never know whether they're just doing it to manipulate you emotionally or whether they're serious. You don't want to write it off because you would feel responsible if something happened and you can't go on living in a constant state of panic either. Here's what you do. Next time she has one of her episodes call the authorities and get her put on a 72 hour suicide watch. If she isn't serious about killing herself then she will stop using it for attention when she realizes you are just going to have her committed of she keeps it up. If she is serious about it then you are getting her started on the path to help. Either way it's a win.

  • You need to get out of that relationship. You cannot make somebody happy. Only people themselves can "make themselves happy". You seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

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