What do i do?

In January I met a man named John in class. I had a huge crush on him and he eventually fell for me. I really liked him.\
In April, I was studying in the library and went to the room next to mine cause a friend said he was studying there as well. I went to his study room, and he wasn't alone. He was with another man named Bob. Bob immediatly caught my attention. It was love at first sight. His eyes, smile, voice. As soon as I walked in, Bob said "Well, who may this be?!" I swear he saw me blush haha. Anyways, I just turned to my friend and asked him school related questions, but from the corner of my eye I could see that Bob had a huge smile on his face and didn't take his eyes off me. My friend (named Kevin) must have noticed this too for he said "Oh be careful with this one (referring to Bob), he likes them hot and sexy and petite like you".
I am shy, skinny, brown hair and eyes. Just "classy" and with "good taste" as many have described me.
I couldn't stop thinking about Bob at all. I was just thrilled.
A week later, I found Bob sitting in a study room so I decided to go over and talk to him a little more (keep in mind that I saw him for 5 minutes that one time I met him). The way he looked into my eyes. He is a really well mannered guy and is also very classy. We became extremely close. All while we were talking, I knew that he had a thing for me and he knew I did as well.
A week later, I get a call from him asking what hall I lived in (he lives off campus). He said there was this really nice place down in the city and that if it was cool if I joined him. I was freaking out haha. He was asking me out on a date!
We went, and we were the only ones there! It was very private! He behaved as a true gentleman. Later we went to bars and he later had to take me back to my dorm because i was very drunk (he did not rape me. A gentleman).
A few weeks later I went out to the bars with some friends and I ended up staying at his place (near my favourite bar). We had s** that night. He was truly tender and a gentleman. We've had s** numerous times afterwards. Everuthing has been a secret though. He is a Senior.
One friend, his closest friend is the only one who knows. That friend has told me that he really likes me but this may be difficult to continue because 1) He's scared of my youth and 2) He's going to be like a staff member next year with the military unit here (I will join the military unit next year-so this may be about chain of command issues). This friend has said that he truly does like me, but is just scared. Bob hasn't told me anything himself. Is he scared that he may damage me? I am perfectly fine with continuing all of this in secret. I would love to tell the world that him and I are together, but if we must not tell anyone, I am pkay with that. I must note that some people Bob hangs out with seem to know about me even before I meet them and they all behave in a kind gentleman like manner when I meet them. It's as if they were thinking "This is Bob's girl".
The passion between Bob and I is very strong. What do I do? He's clearly scared about not being able to continue this and so am I.

Back to John:

John and I had s** 2 times (before this whole thing with Bob). If I had to choose between Bob and John, I would choose Bob. John is very controlling. He is just a friend and we made it clear from the very start that I (me!) was the one who didn't want any relationship. John is a good guy, but no. Not for me. He has (many times) indirectly said that he wants a relationship.
I hope he finds someone else over the summer and forgets about me. Noow my question is, how do I break things off with John? I am going to have 2 classes with him next semester and am sure that he will want to pick things up with me again. As I said, he is a good guy. I am not like most girls here. I will get involved with someone only if I trully like them. In this case, I liked John, had things with him. Then met Bob and lost interest in John while having things with Bob.

I don't know what to do. Please provide me with your insight. I will now go drink champagne as I did with Bob on that first date with him. Thank you.


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  • Just tell "John" that you've met someone else, or you both need to start seeing other people, or things are escalating too fast for comfort, etc., and that the two of you can continue to be friends. Naturally, having invested himself fully in your relationship, "John" will feel hurt, even betrayed, but if he truly is the caliber of man you've described, he'll recover and move on to better prospects. All you have to do is be honest, firm, and direct during the confrontation. Men tend to respect those things. Hope this is not too late and that it helps. The three of you are in a h*** of a love(?) triangle.
    On a side note, it's kind of sad you resort to asking complete strangers/Good Samaritans for advice on pivotal life choices. Your life is yours and yours alone. Rise up and live it. You are important enough to make your own decisions.
    To anyone else surfing through this page, let this story be a lesson as to the dangers of letting hormones and infatuation get in the way of reason. If it's true love you're after, be smart about who you are giving yourself to. Plan ahead. Get to know that person before getting physically or emotionally involved. Weigh the consequences of your actions. Granted, thinking about romance is not as fun or as "sexy" as the unrealistic, contrived love crap Hollywood feeds us, but if you do it right, you'll have less to regret and more to look forward to.

  • Man you're really wise
    I just came reading posts that have the word crush in them for fun.
    didn't think I could get some valuable information from them.

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