To forgive?

I am a survivor of childhood sexual assault. Recently my spouse raped me. It only happened once, and only because he was highly medicated, but I can't trust him anymore. I am only tolerating him now because we have young children. How is someone suppose to forgive their rapist?

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  • I don't believe it. Why would you say your a survivor of childhood sexual assault? What does that have to do with anything? I was molested and abused when I was a kid too so I can tell when someone is trying to use that to their advantage to get sympathy. The entire structure of this paragraph has poor me written all over it.

  • Same here. Women like the OP are why #metoo isn't taken more seriously, by men and true survivor women alike.

  • Good burn. Girl is new at fabricating "woe is me" abuse stories. Iv'e seen many o' these. Sometimes the dame accidentally or purposefully over administers a legal or illegal mood altering substance to her spouse or partner, then after submitting to sexual relations changes her mind, upset with herself, confused, distraught & unable to be rational or credible. Precisely turning into a animal we shouldn't have to tolerate in our society ; posting despicable, misandryst, sexist garbage like that.

  • Kill him. Problem solved. Your kids don't need a rapist for a father.

    On a more logical side: you say he was heavily medicated. Would he be incapable of doing it had he not been drugged up? What are the chances that he'll be drugged up again? Does he even know what he did to you?

    You can never forgive someone who's violated you in that way. Tell him what he did, kick his ass out and let him know he's (1) lucky you didn't call the cops on him and (2) lucky you haven't chopped off his d***, shoved it down his throat and stabbed him 15 times in the neck.

  • BULL.. You're only dreaming of your childhood assault as a foundation for the incredible accusation of your spouse. I'll school you. Look, a spouse can in no form commit sexual misconduct on his wife ; it's a contradiction in terms, scumbag. Only liberaals tried to condition a society otherwise however it is in stone that sexual relations are a integral foundation of a legal marriage. It's the same as trying to portray what they chose to term spousal abuse when in fact it was domestic discord. You can't fool me.

  • "I'll school you". Dude, do the world a favor and kill yourself.

  • AAWW, looks like the truth hurts & I pushed a little coward's buttons. Yaw lighten up & pull yourself together, dudette.

  • So if your wife manages to find your micropeen and cuts it off, you can't have her arrested? Just a little domestic discord, nothing to see here.

    By the way Einstein, there's only one 'a' in "liberal," and it's "AN integral foundation."

    I think you can be fooled a lot more often than you think, especially if you can't comment without using the word "liberal" on a non-political post.

  • First and foremost, honour your feelings. It's okay to feel what you feel towards him. You need to acknowledge those feelings and allow yourself to be with them. It doesn't make you a terrible person. The more you do that, the more the feelings will dissolve on their own. Don't automatically jump to trying to forgive him if that isn't how you truly feel, because it won't work. There will just be underlying resentment, hatred, and tension. Take care of your needs first. You matter too.

  • When all of those feelings of discomfort is gone, then make the decision to let it go and forgive him... Perhaps setting boundaries with him until you feel like you can trust him again will help too, which may involve having an honest talk. Sending you love. Take care.

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