I love him still

That there are times i wish it was 2013. i confess that I wish I could just pause that moment where we both fell for each other and we had one another without the whole world getting involved. i was hurt, abused so much in my life and i felt, that God had given me you because of all that pain and how you just so easily got rid of it. I remember on the 11th of May you wanted me more than anyone.
You gave me everything, and I was so young to appreciate it, and so insecure to understand it. And I should be angry at you, for not understanding why I lied but how can I? Sometimes I walk past that place I used to stay, and I remember sleeping on the floor, because my parents separated and this is where I was, and you would text me just to make sure I was ok.
I remember telling you about all that pain, how I was impure and you wished you could have changed the way it was.
and then I remember you gave me all your insecurities and I held them in my heart, because I wanted to save you even though I couldn't save myself.
And when you left, when all was broken. I still replay everything despite forgiving myself. I got involved with other men who just made the pain more unbearable.
And we tried still, you know, me and you. But there is not a day that goes by where I wish I was sleeping your arms again and kissing you. You were and still are my dream and I see you happy with other different women. And it hurts so bad, because the happiest part of my life was that part, and I find myself reading old conversations, and it hits me I can never be that happy again. And I've tried.

Jul 12, 2016

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  • U need to convence him ur p**** and mouth and ass are better than the others

  • Is there anyway you can talk to him again? Was he older than you? I am going through something similar

  • He is 6 years older than me, and I have tried but our communication is off. Often ignores me but has suggested we meet up

  • Does he have a girlfriend or something? The guy I have a thing for does sadly. Is it because you have seen other people that he ignores you? I'm sorry that you lost it. It's sad when you do isn't it. That feeling of being the only person they want to be talking to.

  • I'm sorry about your situation :( I hope honestly that some way you guys can at least communicate and in honesty no but he has slept with so many girls and hangs out with many more. It's painful watching him like other people's things and petty as well and even meeting up with him I just feel upset thinking of the past and how long it can take to build up something. I speak to many guys myself but the heart wants what the heart wants

  • Thank you so much. I hope things get better for you. That sounds awful. And it sounds like he is unwilling to stop. I hope that you are able to get through to him. But remember there is someone else out there who obviously will able to love you better than this guy. Just haven't met someone to make you forget him.

  • Whatever happens happens, I did speak to him recently but its hard breaking through to a guy like him as I did hurt him as well :(

  • That is so sweet. So moving. I wish for you to find love and security again.

  • Thank you, it means a lot to me :)

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