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I love him still
That there are times i wish it was 2013. i confess that I wish I could just pause that moment where we both fell for each other and we had one another without the whole world getting involved. i was hurt, abused so much in my life and i felt, that God had given me you because of all that pain and how you just so easily got rid of it. I remember on the 11th of May you wanted me more than anyone.
You gave me everything, and I was so young to appreciate it, and so insecure to understand it. And I should be angry at you, for not understanding why I lied but how can I? Sometimes I walk past that place I used to stay, and I remember sleeping on the floor, because my parents separated and this is where I was, and you would text me just to make sure I was ok.
I remember telling you about all that pain, how I was impure and you wished you could have changed the way it was.
and then I remember you gave me all your insecurities and I held them in my heart, because I wanted to save you even though I couldn't save myself.
And when you left, when all was broken. I still replay everything despite forgiving myself. I got involved with other men who just made the pain more unbearable.
And we tried still, you know, me and you. But there is not a day that goes by where I wish I was sleeping your arms again and kissing you. You were and still are my dream and I see you happy with other different women. And it hurts so bad, because the happiest part of my life was that part, and I find myself reading old conversations, and it hits me I can never be that happy again. And I've tried.
Thank you so much. I hope things get better for you. That sounds awful. And it sounds like he is unwilling to stop. I hope that you are able to get through to him. But remember there is someone else out there who obviously will able to love you better than this guy. Just haven't met someone to make you forget him.
Whatever happens happens, I did speak to him recently but its hard breaking through to a guy like him as I did hurt him as well :(