I am sad
I feel like there should be a category for just "life". Yes, that is how much I think too much - on an anonymous website, invited to pour your heart out, I still worry, will I do it right? Will people judge? Will people think I am stupid? Will anyone care? Probably not, probably no one will ever even read this . . . Is there someone out there pretending this is anonymous, just waiting to make it public? To make fun of me? To make me realize what a j*** I really am and how much I deserve to feel less than everyone else. . . Because really, that happens - it happens everyday. . .
I put this under family and friends,, because, what difference does it make? Seriously. I want to anonymously tell you everything and nothing. Sadly, I am no kid. . . I am old and beaten and tired and I know no one cares . . . I am sad. I know no one will ever read this but me, but still, I said it, maybe it means something - I'm sad - I am just so sad.