Selfish

I don't know why I'm doing this.
For a really long time I've wanted to try cutting myself. I've been told it's bad but for whatever reason I want to try it. For a long time I've been sad and unsatisfied, crying at night, listening to emo rock, etc. But I KNOW I'm just being selfish, that there are other people who have better reasons to be sad when I don't. I have loving parents and good grades, no friends, but content with it. But still I feel really sad. People hate what I talk about and eventually I drive my peers away one way or another. I always feel I deserve more, that I COULD be better. And for a long time I've had false hope that it will get better. And now after all of this, I realize that I just have to deal with it. One day I won't be sad, or at least I think, and I don't need advice. Why can't I just have no emotion, it wold be so much easier that way. Maybe one day I won't have complaints...
Ugh, I read this and found out how stupid my feelings sound. I should not publish this.

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  • Hey, your feelings are'nt stupid:)
    I felt this way befor and I actually did cut. It was not worth it infact one of my worst decisions, and do you wanna know the worst part?
    The little scars on my wrist that the person I will be close with in the future very well will notice.
    And the regret, that stings too when I look at it. I can look now and it doesnt hurt as much because I accept it but I'd hate for that to happen. That was a while ago and I try to fit in more now. It's okay that people dont like what you talk about, if its good things, eventually you'll meet others who like the good too and this is what leads to happiness. You know that it will get better and if it doesnt than you strive to be happy, okay? You can do it!'
    --Bekiever:)

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