My Whole Upbringing In Life Turned Upsidedown In Only A Few Days

Okay.....Where to start?....How about I am 18, I am a girl, I have never dated, and I have never kissed a guy. I mean, I am not ugly. I have blonde curly hair, blue eyes, I'm 5 ft 5, and I'm an average weight. I have also been told by many people I'm pretty. This worries me because I do not want to be alone forever; however, it doesn't worry me as much as what I'm about to explain.
All my life I have been told: "Go to college or you'll never be successful" "Don't you ever come home with a black guy or **** will happen!" Etc.
So I made the decision I wanted to become a general surgeon, but after only a few days I decided college is not for me. I want to become a rescue swimmer. Of course my parents aren't upset about that, but they are worried about what will happen to me if I decide I want to go back to college. They don't understand when I explain how much I struggle and how miserable I am in college. They want me to make it through at least one year of college, but honestly, I don't think I can make it through 1 semester.
Next, I have this one guy who is showing an interest in me. He's cute. However, there is one problem. He's black. My whole family is against racial mixing. So what do I do? I can't just sneak around campus with him. I can't tell my parents because they will flip and probably kill me. And I can't just ignore this guy because I want to actually have some type of relationship with a guy. Is this happening because I'm desperate? I don't feel desperate, I don't run around throwing myself at guys. For goodness sake I haven't ever kissed a guy!! I don't even know what kind of response I want from my ranting. I just don't want the normal "go for your dreams" or "relax and your destiny will follow". Somebody please help give me advice.

Sep 16, 2016

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  • Don't fall for the black guy.

  • Tell me why please

  • Go with your heart

  • The great thing about college is you can try on a bunch of different hats and see what fits. If you want to be a rescue swimmer, join the swimming program and see if you like it. You might not like it. Most college kids change their major several times before graduating, that's why they put all the general classes that apply to everything at the beginning. Try a few different things, this is your chance to see if you're going to like stuff before you actually commit to doing it for a career. If you're really convinced that college isn't for you and you're going to drop out, you need to do it before the drop period for your classes, so you can get all your tuition money back. Otherwise your parents will spend thousands of dollars and you'll have nothing to show for it. If you pass the drop period, then you need to ride it out to the end of the semester so you can get the credits. That way, if you do go back later in life (and a lot of people do) then you'll have the credits. There is no easy way to figure out what to do with your life, you just have to try things out until you find the one that fits.

    Now as for the boy, don't worry right now about taking him home. You can date him a little and see what kind of guy he is before worrying about that. Most relationships aren't worth taking home unless they can last longer than 6 months. If he turns out to be a really good guy and you guys get serious, then you can worry about dealing with your parents' racism. You're the only one who has the power to challenge them because they are more afraid of losing you than they could ever be mad at you for picking a guy from a different race. They will come around. Otherwise, if it doesn't work out between you two, then you can move on without involving them and everything will be fine.

  • ^ Completely agree with this comment. What would be even better for you is to go to a college that is far away from your parents. No matter how much you love them, you have to get out into the world and live your life. The boys will come, there's no rush. Take your time with this boy and see what if anything develops. As for college, it really is about exploring what interests you and meeting people. Take courses that sound interesting. You never know, something may just inspire you to pursue a career. Look into, taking a semester abroad. The world awaits!

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