My Whole Upbringing In Life Turned Upsidedown In Only A Few Days
Okay.....Where to start?....How about I am 18, I am a girl, I have never dated, and I have never kissed a guy. I mean, I am not ugly. I have blonde curly hair, blue eyes, I'm 5 ft 5, and I'm an average weight. I have also been told by many people I'm pretty. This worries me because I do not want to be alone forever; however, it doesn't worry me as much as what I'm about to explain.
All my life I have been told: "Go to college or you'll never be successful" "Don't you ever come home with a black guy or **** will happen!" Etc.
So I made the decision I wanted to become a general surgeon, but after only a few days I decided college is not for me. I want to become a rescue swimmer. Of course my parents aren't upset about that, but they are worried about what will happen to me if I decide I want to go back to college. They don't understand when I explain how much I struggle and how miserable I am in college. They want me to make it through at least one year of college, but honestly, I don't think I can make it through 1 semester.
Next, I have this one guy who is showing an interest in me. He's cute. However, there is one problem. He's black. My whole family is against racial mixing. So what do I do? I can't just sneak around campus with him. I can't tell my parents because they will flip and probably kill me. And I can't just ignore this guy because I want to actually have some type of relationship with a guy. Is this happening because I'm desperate? I don't feel desperate, I don't run around throwing myself at guys. For goodness sake I haven't ever kissed a guy!! I don't even know what kind of response I want from my ranting. I just don't want the normal "go for your dreams" or "relax and your destiny will follow". Somebody please help give me advice.