I bullied a kid
Each year our school sent classes away for a week camping. One unofficial activity was called greezing. This involved the victim being held down and his p**** and b**** being coated with mcleans toothpaste. The victim would be held down kicking and screaming for a time and then let go to run to the showers whereupon he would scream again because the water somehow made it burn even more.
Anyway I was kind of a hanger on to the "in group" having decided it was easier to be a part of their group rather than just a victim. I'd of course been greased. One day I was told by the main kid that I was to greeze some kid. I think I was as scared as the victim. He knew. I knew. I told him matterafactly that I was going to grease him. Now one reason I did not want to do it was because the thought of filling my hand with toothpaste and shoving it down some boys pants and feeling his p**** was totally freaky. Somehow we agreed that he would greeze himself. Word got around that I had forced him to agree to this and at the apointed time a croud gathered to watch while I stood there and the kid did himsef. With him doubled over and holding hs b**** and tears rolling down is face I just looked at my watch measuring some random time to keep him there and then eventually telling him he could go and shower.
Turned out I was something of a hero amongst the bullies for this psyological win. All these years later I feel both pangs of guilt for being part of a problem and also almost an arousal associated with the psycological power that one can yield.