Wife was sexually assaulted

My wife and I have had intimacy issues. We had s** pretty regularly before we got married, but she never had an o***** with me. I knew that a few years before we got together she had been raped, which was very traumatic and unfortunately quite violent. It breaks my heart to know she went through that, so I've always been very understanding. Our s** life came to a bit of a standstill a couple years after we got married, so we went to a therapist to figure it out. We came to find out that when she was raped, she had an o*****. She didn't even realize it until describing the event years later. She was ashamed, and I felt hurt. It was kind of a low point for us, but we both wanted to get past it.

One night I was laying on the couch watching TV, and she walked up to me and slapped me across the face. I said "What the f***?" and she said "Shut up, b****!" She was wearing an old button up shirt and after smacking me again told me to tear it open. I did. She laid back and pulled me down on top of her, placing my arm across her chest to hold her down. I pulled down her yoga pants (she wasn't wearing underwear) and put my c*** inside her. She was already wet. After just a few thrusts, she let out a howl like I had never heard before and clawed the h*** out of my back. I came soon after. As I was realizing that we had just essentially re-enacted her rape, she started crying. We both felt awful about it. We talked about it in therapy a few days later, and she said it was the best o***** she ever had. But she hated it. But something about it clicked in her mind, that it was no longer a hurdle she had to get over. For the past few days she wanted nothing more than to have "normal" s** with me but felt too weird about it. I told her it never has to feel weird, and she never has to be ashamed. That night we had some of the most basic s** we've ever had, and she came harder than she did the last time. That was a few weeks ago, and we've had s** every night since. Sometimes she asks me to get a little rough, but now it makes her giggle, which is my favorite sound in the world.

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