Gender is frustrating

I have had long hair for most of my life, since I was 6 in fact. At the start of December last year I cut it all off because I wanted a change and I donated to a company that makes wigs for chemotherapy patients. I thought nothing of it up until a week ago. Before I cut my hair off, I had been questioning my gender identity but was pretty confident about my body and so cutting off my hair was no big thing.

Last week however, I started to get some serious body dysphoria. Every time I thought about my hair, I wanted it back. It made me feel more valid and I missed it terribly. I stopped showering because I didn't want to look at my male body, it just felt wrong. I cried, and I hate crying.

Every time I cry I feel alone because I don't want to tell anyone about my emotional problems because it will worry them.

I just want to know what I am, but saying that is stupid because; in reality; knowing will not make my life better or worse, my life will just be the same but with different problems.

I want to tell one of my family members, but I have lost all confidence in my parents in regards to talking about that kind of thing. They seem think that this kind of thing is a choice and that anyone who is transgender must wear a dress and make-up all the time and all gay or bisexual people are obviously sexually promiscuous. Also, I'm pretty confident that they will just say
"No, you're too young to 'make that choice' you're only 16"

That's what really gets me. The whole 'you're too young to make desiscions about your identity' thing. I mean, it's not like I'm asking for permission to undergo hormone therapy or have a surgical transition. I'm just pointing out that I might know a little more about my own identity than you know about it and could you please take this into account.

Feb 17, 2017

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  • I know it's a bit late but I think you should read 'Lily and Duncan' it's a great book and I think you'll relate to one of the main characters. In fact Reading your confession reminded me of the book. I hope it helps.
    P.s. Don't doubt yourself, your the only one who knows what your feeling

  • I wish i could give you a hug (if you like hugs!). it's unfortunate that you have parents who you do not feel safe to share your deepest thoughts and feelings with. i'm a cis-girl but that doesn't mean when i dress in khaki green and baggy camo that i have to be looked down upon or not seen as a girl; same with you. it's just that people have ideas of what's right, wrong, and they punish people who don't fit that box with mean words and sometimes acts of brutality. i definitely suggest that you do something for yourself to feel better about your body, as well as your hair. that could be buying a cute wig, that could be playing drag queen in private or at a local place that hosts shows if possible, it could be doing female cosplay for a local space-con or comic-con, it could be going to a hair dressers to make your hair look shiny or layered/more girly, it could be dressing in what feels comfortable to you when you're home alone. the second thing you need, is a support system. try reaching out to a local transgender outreach organization/nonprofit/network. if there are none in your area, try by state or national. i know i can't see you but i think you're beautiful, and every person including yourself has alot of potential to live the life of your dreams <3

  • There is no such thing as gender identity blah blah blah cut the s*** out you freeks do this for attention or because you need mental help they have done away with the mental asylums now people doing crazy radical disgusting s*** is supposed to be honorable or worthy of changing laws it's bullshit there is no place for trans or gays if that's the life you choose crawl in your aids whole and die I'm pro life I'm pro man and woman if I'm wrong for that so be it

  • I respect your right to voice your own opinion, everyone should have that right to do so.

    But I respectively and passionately - disagree with your opinion. I'm pro life and believe in equal rights, LGBTQ rights and reinforcing diversity.

    Live and let live :)

  • >>I respect your right to voice your own opinion, everyone should have that right to do so.

    WRONG. Especially since literally your next word was "but".

    You "social warrior" types really have drunk the Kool-Aid about how tolerant and helpful you are. Hmm, so how come you have zero tolerance for anyone who doesn't agree with you 100%? There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with an opinion, but you can never just leave it at that, ever.

    And your little Freudian slip has been noted. The term you were attempting to misuse was "respectfully", but your subconscious got in the way. You have NO respect for the person you "passionately disagree with". So much for your "live and let live {complete with passive-aggressive smiley face}".

    Sod off.

  • ^tranny^

  • Tranny rimmer

  • Some individuals who are ignorant and don't want to understand different genders and sexualities - are frustrating!

    I feel your angst

  • Yes, there are HOW many genders now that didn't exist ten years ago? And "fluid" people especially can "change genders" apparently at will, with no visual evidence to back that up?

    It's a total mystery how "some individuals" just can't wrap their heads around such a simple and straightforward concept. Truly.

    That is called sarcasm. I explain this because you sound like you need a little help beyond the social warrior talking points you ripped from IG. Sorry I can't provide bright colorful visual aids on this site. Now go eat some Adderall and fish for validation from other stupid people.

  • How is it supposed to be?

  • Not sure where you live, but you should look into seeing a therapist who specializes in gender identity. Even consider going to your pediatrician and talking with them. Your hair will grow back. In the meantime, you can have fun with wigs. But seeing a therapist will probably help you figure some of the things you are going through. And when you're ready, you can safely tell to your parents. Do a google search for transgender therapy for teens and see what comes up for you.

  • Good advice

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