Gender is frustrating
I have had long hair for most of my life, since I was 6 in fact. At the start of December last year I cut it all off because I wanted a change and I donated to a company that makes wigs for chemotherapy patients. I thought nothing of it up until a week ago. Before I cut my hair off, I had been questioning my gender identity but was pretty confident about my body and so cutting off my hair was no big thing.
Last week however, I started to get some serious body dysphoria. Every time I thought about my hair, I wanted it back. It made me feel more valid and I missed it terribly. I stopped showering because I didn't want to look at my male body, it just felt wrong. I cried, and I hate crying.
Every time I cry I feel alone because I don't want to tell anyone about my emotional problems because it will worry them.
I just want to know what I am, but saying that is stupid because; in reality; knowing will not make my life better or worse, my life will just be the same but with different problems.
I want to tell one of my family members, but I have lost all confidence in my parents in regards to talking about that kind of thing. They seem think that this kind of thing is a choice and that anyone who is transgender must wear a dress and make-up all the time and all gay or bisexual people are obviously sexually promiscuous. Also, I'm pretty confident that they will just say
"No, you're too young to 'make that choice' you're only 16"
That's what really gets me. The whole 'you're too young to make desiscions about your identity' thing. I mean, it's not like I'm asking for permission to undergo hormone therapy or have a surgical transition. I'm just pointing out that I might know a little more about my own identity than you know about it and could you please take this into account.