Wait it out, or leave my married boyfriend.
I have been seeing a married man for 15 months. When we met it was supposed to be just a fun relationship, but we've fallen deeply in love. He told me from day one that he was married, but that he and his wife live seperate lives romantically, but are still together for the sake of their young children, and have an understanding that they will divorce in about 3 - 5 years, when the kids are older.
About 3 months ago I decided I could not wait that long and told him as much. He immediately went to his wife and told her that he wanted to shorten their timeline to about 2 years. She initially agreed and he even told me they had a great talk about how to best go about splitting to make things easiest for everyone, especially their children. But recently he's told me that she is starting to balk at the new timeline, and I get the sense that the date may keep slipping backwards.
To make matters worse I am at a point in my life where my own teen aged children will be out of the house at in college in 5 years and I need to start planning for that as well.
He's asked me to marry him, and we have had discussions about our future -- living arrangements, finances, etc.
I don't know what to do. I love him totally. I know he loves me totally as well. But I also feel that he and his wife's idea to wait for the "right time" to divorce will never materialize. I am not one for ultimatums or will never make him choose. If I leave, that's it.
Should I wait it out?