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I remember
I remember when I told him "I don't think it's going to work. I'm okay if you don't want to be with me." My heart was breaking, but I wanted him to be happy even if it was without me. He got angry and said he wants to work this out. I was relieved and continued with the relationship. Plenty of problems occurred because of others' interference in our relationship. Without any closure he leaves the state and contacts me after six months. He tells me he still wants to continue, but I told him it's better if we don't. Then he said "I'm not breaking up with you, but you can break up with me." I broke up with him. Both of our hearts broke. He told me before ending the conversation that he'll wait for me and I told him "as far as I know you you'll find someone when you know you want someone by your side."
After three years I found out he has been dating girls and have finally found the one who he wants to marry. I am actually really happy for him. This whole breakup thing just breaks me to death. I can't bare the feeling. It's so hurtful. All these years all I ever wanted was for him to come back for the closure. I waited without anyone by myself for years and now, I'm over him. I'm scared of it even though it was my first and last time. I can't do it. I would never do it ever gain. He's now my one and only ex.
I don't understand how people can go from one person to another. I personally felt like I belonged to him only, but this feeling is getting ridiculous. I can't waste anymore of my time. I can't destroy my future. Someone will want to be with me one day and I have to let that happen (hopefully it'll be my last). I'm trying to get out of this period of time.
Through our last conversation I didn't ask him where he moved to because he was is such trouble and if people came up to me to ask where he was I would have to lie. Instead, I told him not to tell me and he should stay happy.