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Dad in 40s - i love my kids, hate my wife, hate being dad
I hate being married and a dad. I love my kids and would die for them but being a father in his 40s i can't stand the lack of freedom, the brain damage and of course the typical woman who just becomes a ** and gets fat cos she is now a mum. Im fit, healthy, look youthful and had dreams with my career. My career is ruined cos it needs hours of work and that work is seen as a day or night out by my wife who works an underpaid 16 hours a week job yet my house is a mess. Suddenly me working has become a jaunt over the last few years. The constant nagging from her and the guilt trips has made my career suffer to the point im only earning 60% of what i did - which is also now my fault. I had the privilege of working from home after i'd built a lucrative and successful career. That career has been destroyed by the lack of respect for my work and the accusations of not participating when im in my home office - when i say i cant do x y or z during working hours i get a feminine uzi fired back at me as if im playing COD.
I aint some man ape but come on! Honestly for all the guys out there just dont do it.... wait til you have achieved what you want to achieve, get your wealth and status then and only then very carefully meet someone and then consider kids - otherwise you will end up miserable and finished. There is a definite difference between male and female after kids - men want to keep being young and healthy and do their thing - women get angry, get ugly and fat then moan endlessly at the guy for not joining in on the fat, life ending, dream ending misery party. I could handle it if at least my house wasn't a dumpster cos she is useless at running a houses hold, i could handle it if she went out and pulled in the bucks and in role swap i could run a decent house hold. This is a warning to all men. You are much better off alone mentally, spiritually and financially.
Jesus. A couple of weeks ago literally every post that came up in Random was some chick losing her mind. Today I'm getting all the whiny-assed man-children who refuse to see their contributions to messed-up situations. The more willfully ignorant they are, the louder they whine. Sack up, you fvcking losers!!
Eh, just proves what I've been saying for years: Doesn't matter what you're packing, if you're human you're a hot frigging mess. It's just different kinds of messes for different groups of idiot people.
Really,, OP is just another manchild screaming "I put a baby in my hot wife and now I cant deal w/ the results!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hey, those things can be fixed. Try for a minute to think about all the things you have. Healthy kids, a home, a job. Also, both you and your wife are young. Why don't you talk to her about how you feel? Maybe she just needs to be encouraged to take care of herself more. Just use kind words with her, like I'm sure you used to treat each other years ago when you started dating. Routine can become stressfull, but remember the reason you got married years ago. I know career is important, it's a way people can express themselves and add more meaning in life. But remember you guys are still partners, and running a family should be your biggest project. Society wants us to believe that we have to be always productive in your jobs and make as much money as possible in order to feel valued. Don't fall in that trap. Just ask yourself why spending most of your life working is more rewarding than having quality time with your family. A career doesn't define who you are, but the difference you made in your loved ones lives does. At the end, all we take from this life is love. You can always find a balance.
It's unfortunate for you. However, not "all" women are like your wife. Don't judge and typecast the majority of women, because of your unfortunate /negative experiences with one woman. It's not your wife's gender that implicates/influences her character, it's her personality and individual qualities and so forth, that does.
We're all individuals regardless of gender, remember that :-)
The most dangerous thing in the world is a woman who wants to get her egg fertilized. Note to all guys: resist, resist, resist! And slow down on buying that rock for her **, because it will soon start feeling like a ball and chain.
Women know that when they spread their legs, men are doomed. She might be the hottest thing in the world, and you might be drooling over her, but really she is just out to steal your soul.
"Some" women maybe like that. And "some" women are lesbians. So your opinion doesn't account for the majority of women. Treat each person that is a women, individually. We're all individuals regardless of gender and so on. Remember that :)
"Some" lesbians "aren't" real "women." Remember THAT :P
Just like "some" men aren't "real" men :)
I agree. Some people are superficial and full of **, regardless of their gender and sexuality (:
That's the reality my friend. I don't know what I can Say to help u but us men are all doomed.
You're more than a man, you're a person first, an individual. Your whole identity isn't defined by your gender. And "some" individuals who are male, may have similar perspectives to you - but, not all. You're one person and your opinion doesn't count for the majority of individuals who are male.
I think a lot of us feel that, though yours seems sharper and more intense, perhaps the product of recent occurrences in your situation (though I'm not prying). I'm not one to generally recommend counseling, but you might be helped by it. Talk to a professional, providing all the details he or she requests, and get a bit of disinterested perspective on things. Even if your wife won't go (and you may not even want to TELL her you're going, at least at the beginning), there would be benefit in engaging in the process.
I'm 21 yrs old I have to say I've always told myself to finish my career in Chemical engineering enjoy life dovwhat I want as far as travel etc, then settle down and have kids. I've been with my gf for 4 years since high school we are both still dating but don't see eachother as much for school she's still at home with her parents and I'm still with my parents. Both work part time somewhere. She's studying for civil engineering 2 more years to go and me 2 more years for my chemical engineering. We both agreed to finish and start careers and push eachother through it. Meantime kids we agreed no kids she grew up baby sitting and is tired of kids. Me I'm not a baby person. I see sometimes men in their 40s still dads with 5-6 kids and babies they look tired like zombies yes their wives let themselves go after the 3rd one.
I hear you man.
For years my wife was a stay at home mom with a 1 day a week job. Great. OK 4 days to lean the ** house but no it's always full of **. Any if I contract a cleaner then I'm in the **.
Yes they get fat. usually when the kids get to about 6.
Everyone is different. I'm currently working from home, whilst my partner works aswell. Because I'm primarily at home, I do the cooking and cleaning. I work out everyday and have a six pack( due to genetics) However, I've always been a fitness fanatic since a child and I still am ( I'm 32 now) Doing housework aswell as working out keeps me fit. I'm alot fitter than my partner.
We don't have any children and don't intend to, so that helps. We have a great ** life, we don't argue as we discuss matters if anything arises. My partner pays the mortgage, I pay for the electricity/gas, home insurance, council tax, broadband and monthly food shop bills. We have a great partnership, it works for us. I don't make any demands and neither does my partner, we have mutual respect for each other, our space, interests and feelings. Unfortunately, some couples/individuals aren't as lucky as we're. We have carefree personalities and are open minded :)
Okay, who let the sensible person in here?!
Preach my brother. I have thankfully been able to keep my career, but the wife has gotten fat, I'm 6 years older than her but keep in shape, despite working and also helping around the house. I would gladly watch our child if it meant she would work out, the gym we used to go to had f*****g child watch at the gym with cameras so parents could monitor the kids while working out!!! And still she won't work out.