I often think of killing myself

I hate my life. My dad is in the military but I never really knew him. I'm 25 and still dont. My mom is a herion addict. Luckily I've never done drugs. I can be pretty emotionally detached. So my life life has always been difficult. No one ever feels like I love them. The lack of ability to show people I care or keep the people I care for in life often drives me to thoughts of dying. Recently it's been thoughts of driving into a tree. It use to be killing a bunch of bad people mainly drug dealers and pimps. The goal would just be to take out as many as I could. I try to keep my emotions under control. I use to be full of rage. These days I'm not mad anymore I just don't see that point in living if I can't even love someone. What is a life without love?

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  • You have the power to love and be loved, it's just finding a way to trust and to tap into it. Not easy feats at all especially since you have been pushing people away for most of your life and not trusting. Much of your change has to start with loving yourself and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and letting ago of past hurts or how you relate to others. And none of this is easy at all, but it's worth it and you're worth it. It may be really helpful for you to see a therapist, someone who can help you on your path. Suicide is not an option and neither is killing others. Go and talk with someone.

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