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My past
Hello, I'm 23 years old from Ohio, Usa. I dont even know where even to begin.. I lost my dad as I kid and was bullied in elementary and middle school and Ive strayed so far from God on and off since I was 13. I want to be a christian. But feel I am to flawed. I used to do pills and have drug issues. I have been clean over 4 years. But... I used to(and still have urges) with a stealing problem. It started small things, than got large over time. The lies for coverups got worse and worse. In 2015 I was arrested for shoplifting and did my community service and thought it was going to stay in my past. But it has come back. I stole a laptop from someone but I returned it but are facing legal action. I'm afriad. I need God. I dont concider myself a bad person. I dont abuse anyone. Love my animals. Dont go out and party anymore. But I cant find a church or seem to move on. I am going to therapy and going to try to find some help with my stealing. I need forgiveness and pray for courage and strength.
Murmuring to yourself won't change a developed addiction. You might need to change the direction of counselling for clearly being a kleptomaniac.
We are all flawed. God loves the inner us. But don't make this weak excuse that you keep on stealing.
I'm not religious, but I believe if you are going to find religion it should be something where you feel accepted. Stop putting so much stress on yourself. So you have made mistakes, who hasn't? It's part of life, figuring things out. We are works in progress. Whatever your past experiences were, they make you who you are today. Stronger, Wiser. Look you did what you needed to do to cope with the loss of your father and everything else. Everyone is different. We are all so ** ourselves. God (or whoever you want to believe in) should be all around and be 100% accepting. If you go to church, find something that resonates with YOU. Look into meditation or even support groups. Continue with therapy, get a sponsor if you need to. Bottom line: Be kind, Love yourself and accept yourself. At some point, let it go and stop punishing yourself. YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON.
You are not too flawed, Jesus forgives. I pray for you to be healed by his love