I liked it when my cousin touched me

When I was 15, my cousin (18, at the time) came over to my house because our moms were going somewhere and his little sister was at a friend's house. We were in my room and I was sitting on my bed, he was laying on the floor on his phone. I could hear quiet sounds coming from his phone that sounding likes moans. After about 20 minutes of that, he put his phone away and sat on the bed with me. He asked me "have you ever had **?" (we were very comfortable with each other, he was like my best friend and I talked about everything with him) and I told him no. He whispered the next part and I could tell he was nervous because he didn't look me in the eye and his voice was shaky. He was never nervous so it was really weird. He asked if he could touch my **. I don't know what made me say yes, but I'm glad I did. He fondled with my ** and then sucked on them. I asked him if he would go lower and he ate me out. We made out for another 20 minutes while he fingered me, stopping sometimes to put his fingers in mine or his mouth. He's now 20 and I just turned 18. I see him a couple times a year for holidays because he goes to college out of state, but wr talk all the time. We haven't had ** or done anything else since the first time. Sometimes, when we get a moment alone we make out and he grabs my ** and my **. He says he loves me and I think I love him too. I want to marry him and have his babies but he's my cousin

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