Loser

I feel like the biggest loser. I'm 21, jobless because of health issues (both mental and physical), I live with my parents and younger brothers who I don't get along with (mom and oldest younger brother), I've gained 10 or 15 lbs from this new birth control pill I'm on even though I'm working out and staying away from junk food, and I barely know where I stand with my "boyfriend" right now because we have mutual feelings for each other but there are so many issues that we need to work through. I'm realizing I'm the biggest issue because of my constant anxiety, depression, and subconscious beliefs that came from growing up in an abusive environment. I don't have any real friends. In fact, I'm not even sure what friends are anymore. Nowadays I can't tell the difference between right or wrong anymore. I only know that I'm hurt. I'm going to therapy now. I just had my second session today where it was further confirmed how many issues I have. I kind of just feel like ending it. What's the point in trying anymore? I think I'm not good for this world and a lot of people would be better off if I didn't exist.

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  • Jobless because of health issues but able to work out. Drop the word "out" and see how it reads.

  • Yeah. I know what you mean. If feel like a loser to if that were me.

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