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We sent my mothers father a christmas card this year. My moms parents divorced when she was sixteen. Her dad disapeared and dosowned his children. He sent us back a letter. At the end of the letter his closing was "I love you, always remember that, Grandpa". But I am sorry sir, I do not believe that. I have never thought of that man as grandpa and I never will. He had thirty five years to try and reconcile with his family, and he never did. That man is not my grandpa.
Yes he is.
Both of you ** stop fighting.
Okay, since its the season for all this forgiving and ** try and think of how Gramps might be feeling now that he's old and going to die soon. He's trying to connect to anything that could console him about his poor choices. It could be the first step in reconciling the relationship.
What if he's a really nice guy now? Contributes his time to worthy causes, donates money, treasures his friends... If you really want to shun a guy who couldn't fix a relationship 25 years ago? So he's been so ashamed of his actions he jumped at the first chance to connect to you, since you sent the letter first. I'm guessing this all happened in the early 80's?
hahaha I didn't send it. It's not my father and it wasn't my choice to send it, **.
-OP