Why does abuse turn me on?

(24,f). I heard specific details about the sexual abuse of a girl on t.v recently. It made me want to throw up and I tried very hard not to think about it, but it also made me feel flushed and turned on. I let myself think about it just now while my husband was eating my pussy, and I came harder than I have in months. I'm kind of ashamed and wondering WhY what makes me so sick also makes me so horny.

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