These things I confess:

In the fall when things were getting really bad, the only thing that stopped me from starting to drink heavily was the fear that if I got really drunk, I'd have the courage I didn't have when sober to attempt suicide.

These days, when I'm going down flights of stairs, I have to pause at the top of them, to prevent that tiny part of me from throwing myself down the stairs.

I tell each person I know just one secret of mine, because if I come close to telling someone all my secrets they'll leave me and I need to get them out.

When I occasionally stop being shy and get explosively angry for no reason, it's not because of anything anyone's done; it's because I'm angry at myself for being jealous of other people's happiness. It's bad. I know. I'm sorry.

I worry about my recent loss of most emotions. I know I should feel sympathetic or hopeful or disheartened at some times, but my only emotions right now are null, anger, desperate loneliness, and mysterious untargeted fear.

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  • I wish more people would admit this about themselves

  • dont listen to the a****** ^^^
    hold on to the good things in life
    you are not alone
    surround yourself with people you care about or people who care about u
    get involved with helping people and gain some personal satisfaction
    seek therapy if things are not getting better. it seems like you have depression
    take a deep breathe and rethink things when u feel this way
    much love..

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