Can it go back to normal?

My older sister passed away unexpectedly just over a year ago, Her husband is the greatest man I know but I F'd up bad. I went camping with him and my nieces and nephew and made a huge misake, We had a great day of hanging out at the beach and campsite and then kinda started drinking early, Late afternoonish and then got th kids to bed late and I was to stay on the couch which folds out. We had been hanging out all day and we were close before since my sister sort of raised me from the age of 13 so I knew him from the day they met, Literally, My sister and I were together when they met and I was 15 and my sister was 24, He was 32.
I am now 28 and have no kids, No man in my life because most I have met either can't/Won't commit or can't/Won't keep it in their pants, Regardless we were getting ready for bed, I was....Tipsy, Maybe slightly more than tipsy and was in the bathroom changing, The main bathroom has a door on one side facing the livingroom and one on the other side facing the master bedroom. You can probably guess what happened, I was standing, looking in the mirror at myself, Bikini hanging on the edge of the counter, Nightshirt and shorts in my hand and my brain said "Hey...You should get dressed, Open the door on the left and go to bed drunky drunk", My body said "Drop you stuff on the floor and open the door on the right".
Well, My body I apparently stronger than my brain and I turned to the right, Opened the door and made eye contact with my brother in law who was laying in bed looking at his phone, He put his phone down and looked at me, Bit his bottom lip and I stepped into the room, I noticed the main bedroom door was open so I closed and locked it, Closed and locked the bathroom door and neither of us said a word, I crawled into bed with him, Put one leg over his with my foot resting between his shins, I rolled half on top of him with my head on his chest, One arm over him and his one arm under me.
He put the hand of the arm that was under me on my back and pulled me tighter, I am...Chesty so I had to adjust my one b*** and it was basically laying on his chest. My heart was racing and I could feel his was too, I just went for it and slid my hand that was across his chest under the blanket and into his underwear. I know every confession on here says it so I won't go into great detail but as I wrapped my hand around it I thought to myelf (Uh oh, This may have been a mistake) I could feel it grow in my hand, I looked up at him and must have had a little bit of surprise or possibly fear. He smiled and kissed me and....Oh s***.
His underwear came off, I rolled on top of him, Slid down and put it in my mouth, I felt like it was my first time, I fumbled with it, Slobbered on it, My hands shook as I stroked it, He was too thick and too long to employ my skills, I gagged, I choked, I fully embarrassed myself and finally said F it. I started sliding up and was going to ride him but he hooked his arms under my knees and pulled me right up and he slid down at the same time and I was like...."Nope, Nope, Nope.....Ooooohhhh f***" and then I looked down at my brother in law looking up at me as I sat on his face, Frick, i hadn't shaved in two days and was all stubbly but he didn't seem to care. He was really going to town and my legs started to shake, and I lifted myself off his face, He grabbed my hips and pulled me back down shoving his tongue right in me and I couldn't hold out, I squeezed his head with my thighs and sat down hard as I tried to be quiet but probably wasn't, I came and came and he just kept going until I lifted myself off his face again and then I rolled onto the bed on my back and whimpered "Oh my god".
He rolled on top of me and spread my legs, I thought I was wet enough and relaxed enough but I wasn't, He pressed the k*** in and I was like "Oh f***", I looked him in the eyes and said "Gentle plese", He pushed deeper and moaned "Holy f*** you're tight". We tried not to shake the camper, I came at least twice more and he came in me twice, I drifted off to sleep and thank F'ing god I woke up before any of the kids, I Rolled over and he woke up, I looked at him and we kissed, He slid his hand down and started rubbing me, I was instantly wet and I sooooo wanted it again right then but I knew the kids would be up soon, I said no and he stood up, He stood in front of me and I started sucking him, Swallowed it and he pushed me back and went to kneel down but there was a knock on the door.
I bolted to the bathroom and got dressed, He was in the kitchen when I came out, My bra was in my bag by the bed and I looked at it and then at him and he shook his head no so...I just didn't, I hung out with him, Fed the kids and sent them to the park, He f***** me again and then some of the other people we were there with texted and said "Coffee is on" so we got dressed, I didn't put my bra on but did put on a sweater, We went to the site next door and had coffee, I said I was going to go back and pack a cooler for the beach and when I went inside and looked in the mirror it was obvious I wasn't wearing a bra but whatever.
We spent that day together and packed up, Headed home and I went to my place, I went over and seen him the next day and the next and the next. It has been two weeks now but what I want to know is....If this doesn't work out, Can we ever go back to the way we were before?

Dec 10

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  • I am my sisters backup plan if anything ever happens to her, We jokingly made a pact that if anything ever happens to her I will drop whatever I have going on and take over her role which I don't know if she knows or not but I totally would and will.

  • Sorry to hear about your sister. Losing a family member is hard, even more so when so young. Now your sister is gone, your brother-in-law is really no longer your brother-in-law. It's not like you two cheated or even dishonored your sister in any way.
    Now the line is crossed between you two. I suggest seeing where it goes. You guys need to talk and maybe take it slow. Go out to eat, grab a movie, go shopping. Do normal things and build a new relationship that might be a lifelong relationship. Also, by doing these normal things together, it helps friends and family see you guys together, and they will begin getting used to the idea. Not that their opinions matter.

  • I have been having a secret relationship with my ex brother in law since 3 weeks afer their divorce was final (2 years), He is 20 years older than me and is 44 but oh man, He blows away any guy my age in EVERY way. One day I am going to have to own up to it but for now NO.

  • My wife's sister was visiting, she was in the bathroom, which has a side door to the main bedroom.
    I heard the shower start so I sneaked a peek, my wife was in the living room, so I tried to be quiet as a mouse.
    Sure enough, my sister-in-law was naked, so I got a great view though the door, barely cracked open.
    She spotted me in the mirror, turned my way and lifted her t*** up and bounced them, then reached down and used her fingers to spread herself open, while staring right at me.
    I closed the door, since then she has been teasing me every time the wife is out of the room.
    She has asked me several time to "show her my d***" but so far, I haven't.

  • Time only goes forward and you can't undo what has been done. So you may as well enjoy this and see where it goes because if you try to "go back" you're only going to ruin it.

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