Don't Love My Mother
I would never say this aloud to anyone other than a therapist, but...I don't think I love my mother. She wasn't truly abusive or negligent, but she is the most unhappy person I've ever known, and as long as I have known her she has brought misery wherever she goes.
Still, despite being well aware that I will probably never be able to please her no matter what I do, I still find myself trying harder with her than with anyone else.
I'm 35 now and the mother of two young children. I know that my focus should be on my family, but I let my mom take up more headspace than I can even believe.
I am scared stiff that my children will someday feel about me as I do about my mother. In a way, her bad example serves as a constant reminder that I should be better.
I don't love my mother, but I can't cut her out of my life, and I just want her to be happy. I hope that I can get past this.