WTF, My birthday

So, where do i start.

So it was coming up to my birthday and i asked for something. But this item was a nit pricey so other family members chipped in. So i got this item at my "party". But a few days before my birthday my mum said she had something else to give the morning of. So, as a human i asked what it was. Because my mum is also a human, she told me to shut up. I then asked was it technology based. she said no, but she said it required power.

So the next day, my human instincts made me curious, so i went looking. i has looking around her room and noticed that her bottom draw had no handles.
So, i opened it.

At first i saw a brown paper bag, a small bag, a power cord, screwdriver and the draw handles.

I then looked in the bag and there was a ** blue ** and a toy cleaner.
My body went into shock.

So i picked up the ** and looked at it. At first it looked like a 6" plastic **. I then turned the what was the batter cap and it started to vibrate.

what the **?

i turned it of and looked at the cleaner.

It then crossed my mind what was in the paper bag. i was right.
Condoms.

i opened the bag a there where 2 boxes. 1 was open and the other one was sealed.

i paused...
*requires power?*
oh what the **.

so on my birthday morning my parents came out with a bag. i opened the bag and there was a blue 6" inch **, toy cleaner and a 12 pack of condoms.

That was the most awkward moment i have ever had in my life.

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