I don’t want to exist anymore

I brain has f***** me over. I’m so depressed and I’ve been trying for years to get better but there is no way out. I’ve been trying relentlessly. Help lines leave me on hold. Even those who are supposed to be there in crisis don’t want to hear me. No one is listening to how bad I feel, they only understand if I attempt to take my own life. This isn’t supposed to be a self pity post, I just need to let out how low I’m feeling.

Report this

29 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • That is exactly how I feel. No one wants to hear it stop feeling sorry for myself. Well I don't I'm just sick of life and nothing ever getting better now matter what I do. I can't keep on living when I'm so tired of hating myself and destroying everything I ever care about

  • Good bye world and i want too thank those here who were positive. l just cant handle this life andbi wish i knew you's in person. l am greatfull for your love and kindness..

  • Please don’t do it. Whatever you’re feeling right now will pass. You are stronger than you know. Do whatever you need to survive this moment and this time, call a helpline or someone you care about. There is someone who cares about you and wants you here. I want you here, alive and growing

  • Go see a professional for therapy!

  • For real! What are you waiting for? Don't wallow in your illness, you don't have to, see someone, help is available, you need professional help!

  • Its hard to feel sorry for people who have it all when so many people in poverty and illness and loneliness and be grateful for breathing and seeing the sun. when you have been ill you know how lucky you are then even on a s***** day. maybe go see a therapist if its depression.

  • I’m glad you feel that way because I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. A lot of people have been going through the same things and there is always someone who has it worse than you. However, that doesn’t make your own struggle any less real, even if you are privileged in other ways, which I fully accept that I am. It’s just difficult to see that when you feel so low that you can’t see beyond how worthless you are.

  • No pity given, only letting you know that you've been heard. I'm not going to say anything about religion or even tactics to help you reach people on help lines, just say that you have been heard. I hope that things work out better for you and that you find a way towards wanting to exist again.

  • Some of these just make me wanna make some tea and give them a cuddle:(

  • Ooh what kind? I'm a sucker for earl grey! And lady grey too if I'm feeling a bit of a queen that day!

  • TO: MY JESUS LOVED PERSON, Verbally Expressing Depression, on this website; I Want You To Know, That “ JESUS LOVES YOU, WITH ALL HIS HEART; AND HEARS ALL YOUR PRAYERS, TOO! I Am Placing You On My Prayer List, Right Now! In My Prayers, even if I don’t utter your name, JESUS KNOWS YOUR NAME, AND EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES!, AND BECAUSE, JESUS DOES KNOW ALL, YOU CAN BELIEVE ME, WHEN I SAY; HE NEVER TURNS AWAY, THOSE WHO REACH OUT TO HIM IN PRAYER; NO, NOT ONE; BECAUSE JESUS LOVES YOU; BECAUSE HE CARES; BECAUSE HE WANTS THE BEST FOR ALL OF US; HE WANTS THE BEST FOR YOU, AND BELIEVES THAT YOU ARE PRECIOUS, DESERVING HAPPINESS, AND PURPOSE, AND THAT YOU ARE VALUABLE, IN HIS SIGHT, AND WILL ALWAYS WILL BE: FOREVER! GOD BLESS YOU, MY BROTHER! Your Praying Brother In Christ.

  • L'm not the op though i struggle with addiction. l used too go to church and meeting's. l struggle with abuse from my past and have being in and out off hospital's one off the last time's i was in a pyscreatic hospital for nine week's after taken an over dose. l woke up after two day's and after a week in general hospital. l was put in pyscreatic hospital. l feel i have failed as a child off god. my choice's and way's have caused me too feel shame' guilt' anger and more. l struggle each day too carry on. l will never blame god on any off the stuff that was done too me as a child. l just cant seem too get past it though. you seem like a genuine person. l wish i had the love in my heart i once had..

  • To My Bro, Or Syster Who Verbalizes Failure; “In The Eyes Of Our Lord And Saviour: Jesus Christ; NO ONE IS A FAILURE; NO, NOT ONE! Jesus DIED ON THE CROSS, For All Our Imperfections, Past, Present, And Future, So Why Would Either I, Nor Anyone Else, Dare Look Upon You as a Failure, And You Know What: THAT INCLUDES YOU, TOO! Let’s Dry Jesus Tears, My Brother, Or Sister; Lets Glorify, And Prove His Words To Be True, Because, They Are! Let’s Be An Example, For Others, Who Might Be Feeling What You Are Feeling,, And Who Knows How Many Despondent, Sad People, Our Actions Might Just Save, From A Fate, Nobody Wants! JESUS SMILES WITH JOY, WHEN HE SEES THIS! WHEN HE IS HAPPY; HOW CAN WE EVER BE SAD! I CAN’T! GOD BLESS YOUR WILLINGNESS TO READ THIS, AND GOD BLESS YOU; NOW AND FOREVERMORE! IN JESUS NAME:🙏😁!

  • Thank you and excuse my spelling. l dont feel like i can call any one my brother or sister in jesus like i once did. l am an alchaholic and just feel as though i have gone so far down a dark path. l cut myself off from my own family and the family i once had in church. part off me longs too see somebody from the church i went too. l blame myself for my choices and addiction. l know this may seem crazy. but i pray some nights that i wont wake up. l appreciate you thoughts and prayers. its being a long time since i have being called brothet. l want too say god bless too you. but feel i would be a hypacrit. l am greatfull too you though..

  • NO, MY BROTHER; YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCRIT! JESUS KNOWS YOUR HEART, AND HE HAS “NOT PASSED JUDGMENT ON YOU AS A HYPOCRITE! , AND, NEITHER WILL I! I’M JUST A SINNER, WHO HAS FALLEN SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD! JESUS SAYS; AND I BELIEVE HIS PRECIOUS WORDS: LET THEY, WHO ARE WITHOUT SIN, CAST THE FIRST STONE! ALL ho have read this, or know this in their hearts, Are NOW LAYING DOWN THEIR STONES, AND WALKING AWAY; THEIR HEADS HUNG LOW, IN REPENTANT SADNESS, FOR WHAT THEY ALMOST DID; BUT, THEY DIDNT, AND NOW; ASK JESUS, AND HE WILL HEAR, AND HE WILL ANSWER YOU! GOD BLESS YOU! Your Brother In Christ. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏!

  • Leave it and i have a voice in my head all the time. l am not scared too die anymore..

  • Thank you for your kindness and your heart too reach out. l beleave im better off on my own. l wont say god bless as i said i beleave it would be false. but i hope you continue too have the good heart you have. i beleave you are a wonderfull person..

  • You Are The Wonderful Person, And Jesus Knows This! Keep The Faith!

  • Lm here and would like too chat.

  • Thank you and i dont want too lie and i just started too have a drink over an hour ago. it numbs pain and other stuff. im in room on my own and so cant say anything too hurt others. i just text a copil i knew from church i went too and they are in their 70s. but they were a beautifull copil and no everything about me. i hope they still have the same no. l dont cry easyley. yet i feel like im going too break down here. i am thankfull for you words. i wish i could be stronger.

  • (booming omnipotent voice)
    Hello,God here 🙋 I'm glad you're not blaming me for the abuse you suffered as a child, I remember that I had nipped out for a packet of f*** and some special brew from the offie and so I couldn't be there at the time! Mega lols am I right?!!
    But I am a forgiving lord,and you have not let me down as my child.
    But,you have let yourself down with your spelling and grammar, that's down to you soft lad.
    Keep up the good work on the recovery,your cell,I mean your room isn't ready for you up here yet,b***** plasterers are late as usual,probably sorting out Caesar Augustus' pillars again!! So no point trying to top yourself again,I'll only wake you up again back in your body!!
    Don't worry,I'll get you when I'm ready👍
    This'll make you laugh,but me and JC have little bets on how many people we can collect whilst they're naked!! You should see them walking about up here with their hands over their privates!!
    So dress smart soft lad,and see ya in a bit👍

  • Yes! I agree with you brother, for I was once in a dark place,until I let Jesus in. I wont go into details as it was unpleasant with drugs etc,but the lord forgave me,gave me a new lease of life and genuinely saved me!
    I am so blessed and grateful to the lord,and I pray and worship him everyday.
    My life has changed for the better,I'm an honest man and its down to the lord!

  • Well stop b******* about it. Either do it ,or pick yourself up and deal with life.

  • That's not nice, they came here for support not to feel worse..if you don't like it then simply move on!

  • I am listening to you. You must keep going. Speak to people who validate you. This will let you know you are not alone. Change comes from acceptance of the self. Surrender all of your struggle. This means not fighting your own mind. Let it go and surrender. Positive change will start to happen. I promise.

  • Try reddit suicidewatch,lots of similar people like you and there's lots of support to make you feel happy again 👍

  • Love too put a bullet in your head

  • #to , not too

  • I pray things get better for you

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?