Looking forward to death

My mom died suddenly 10 months ago, and with her went the last person who cares whether I come or go, live or die, am happy or sad. I have a girlfriend who is very kind and sweet and I'm grateful for her, but she has no idea of how big a hole my mother's death left in my life, and how wrenching it is knowing she's gone and isn't coming back, ever.

I got the flu two days ago and my girlfriend put me to sleep last night while I was shaking and shivering and feverish. After she left I thought "It would be so wonderful if this flu would kill me and end this life of struggle, isolation, poverty, disconnection and despair" and I could just go off to the next level without this body that needs to be fed, washed, dressed, cared for, and this world that requires most of us to toil the majority of our days just to buy food and pay rent, and for what? So rich people can get richer? So a guy like Trump can be President and be rude to everyone and misspell Tweets? Look at our culture, what a toilet it is. Is there really anything to look forward to?

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  • Please don't harm yourself. You make people here laugh. That's really good. I know they are laughing with you not at you. Well at least I think so.

  • Yes, yes we know. Now go kill yourself. What your still here? Great I cured you that will be $120 for the time.

  • It's always darkest before the sunrise.Don't worry,life will soon be better.

  • Have no advice, but just wanted to let you know I get it, and you're not alone. Hugs to you wherever you are in this world.

  • About to kill yourself because trump mis spells his tweets😂
    You millennial t*** lmao

  • You're not the first to lose a parent or a loved one. Everyone that has lived for very long has. I know it's hard, but it's life and we go on. This world is not perfect, but we must live our lives to make it as good as possible. Find someone who has it worse than you and help them. Don't worry, someone's out there. Helping others, spreading the love, caring, that's what will make you feel better and realize your true worth and that if your life ended today, someone's life would be less bearable because you weren't there for them. Your mother's memory is precious, but she would want you to move forward, to live, and grow. Best to you brother. God bless.

  • I thought like you two years ago. I lived in a dark hole emotionally and was about to jump off a roof. Then I met my first girlfriend (I'm 17) and she showed me that there are things worth to be alive for. It's no use counting those things up for you bc their different for everyone. Just... imagine how your girlfriend would feel if you died. Maybe she would feel just like you rn.

    Think about it.

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