too much for a 14 year old

i always feel lik i get it wrong... i feel like everyone lies about themselves anyway
to make themselves seem better then they are. i would ike to start off i hate staten island
everyoneis this same as much as they think they are different they are not..i want to be
famous i really dont care how that is gunna happen as long as people dont hate me...i am
not going to lie to you and say that i dont care if people hate me...i do...i think everyone
should care...i am rude...i CAN help it, but if i dont like you i dont... i dont really
have reasons why i dont lik people i just dont ... it bothers me a lot. i am a single,
low selfasteem, aspiring ** bunny, easy, bipolar conformist... life **, i think
people should know this...i hate who i am, i wuld rather marry someone for there money then
a guy i fall inlove...i dont want ot fall inlove i would feel vulnurable, maybe thats why i
tell every guy that i dont lik them anymore when they ask me out... i get mad at my friends
i think they should grow up alittle and find out we RNT going ot be firends forver and
prob through high school i AM going to get DRUNK and i AM gunna hookup with whoever
i feel lik so i feel lik i am pretty to whoever is using me. and they should kno that it
is okay to ** a guy friend and u are allowed to date your friends ex. people annoy me so
much they think morals really count in life... people dont get famous by being good...i talk
to people i dont know online...they notice me more then anyone else i know... i just erased
a hwole sentence cuz i didnt even feel lik i should know that about myself... i rlly want
to have a lifke threatinging sickness so that i can see who really cares... and when i
survive i can fking leave ** who rnt near me when i needed them... and then maybe
some people will belive me when i tell them i dont feel good... and soo my dad wont feel
lik an ** when i am sick and tell me to clean up HIS **... i also hope if i get
sick i will loose weight in the hospital... sooo i can fkin not be scared to look lik
the moms i see today...i think i have anxiety..... no i know i have anxiety... i also kno
that my mom dsnt care that i cant breathe... i dont think i can handle the next 4 years
of highschool i think i m making myself sick.... i cnt breathe in school and i kno
my firends will never understand... i dont feel lik i can meet anyone that will... i am
affraid to ask my mom for a therapist...i am secretly hopein someone fins this and shows
it to someone so they can help.... i sound lik a fukin whimp...i cant even deal with
highschool when there r people out there with much worse....

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