For all of my life I wondered where I would fit in amongst life and what my role would be. For the longest time I thought I was working towards something which would satisfy that appetite. Fast forward to about two years ago or so where things had not really gone to my way of thought as I'm sure most people have that in their life. But then I made a decision which was rather unconventional to say the least.
Almost every day after that point I used my knowledge of such aspects in areas that are shall we say are undesirable to say the least, of which I learnt over some years. I spent my time almost every day scrawling through the depths of the web finding and removing child p**********. That for the past two years or so has been my purpose in this world. 100's if not 1000'so images/videos/archieves/websites being removed and taken down of which I am proud of doing, don't regret any choice I made to get this done.
This however has a price, one of which I will be paying soon. Not quite sure how big of a price will come my way but I have no choice in paying it. Despite good intentions which have a real impact, what I was doing was entirely illegal of which I understand and thus the price I will be paying. Being arrested about near two months ago for my actions of which I kept records of what I was doing. That will only help in my regard just a little, end point is that what I was doing was illegal regardless.
Now I wonder exactly what my purpose is or will since effectively being shut down. I saw things which were not nice in any respect and a lot of it all is hard to carry but it was all made bearable knowing it was doing some good, even if it was just a miniscule amount of good in way of stopping one person accessing the material. I was good at my job and it had meaning. Now I have no meaning and face a nasty price. Funny how the wored works. Still, my future is uncertain but I hold firmly in no regrets.
I have nothing now, just the patience and waiting for my price to pay. Venting over with.