Boyhood sexual abuse arouses me now

My uncle sexually abused me when i was a 10 year old boy. Now i get aroused when i think about what he did to me.
My uncle lived far away but he came to visit our family 2-3 times a year and would stay for a few days. I looked up to him and he was a funny man. Our family home was small, so he used to stay in my bedroom with me.
At bedtime he used to undress completely in front of me and get aroused. At 10 years old I only had a small p**** and it fascinated me how big his was. He would watch me undress and touch my naked body and perform oral s** on me. I was so naive, I was just concerned I would accidently pee in his mouth; I didn't realise at the time he was sexually abusing me.
It wasn't long before he talked me into performing oral s** on him and it eventually led to him having a*** s** with me. I never thought what he was d*** was bad and this continued until I was 13 years old, when my parents found out what he was doing.
I've thought about these events over the course of my lifetime, but recently I have found myself thinking about it alot more and masturbating at the same time. I am straight but it actually arouses me when I think about that period of my life and what he did. I always feel guilty after I have c** though.

Feb 8, 2020

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  • I just masturbated thinking about sucking on your little 10yo pee pee and raping your virgin ass

  • People think this is always a bad thing when that's not necessarily the case. I do think this shouldn't really happen to a child but people shouldn't be surprised when the sexual act is actually enjoyed by a child. I feel it should remain illegal but don't feel bad for masturbing over what's happened to you.

  • Wish you was my nephew

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